Earning Power!

Men Empowering Women

2008-06-05T11:01:00.000-07:00

I was giving a talk last week to realtors in Orange County and afterward, the men came up and let me know they hadn't understood their value to women and thier impact financially in areas other than just being the household wallet. (Unfortunately, not an untypical reaction).

The female realtors expressed they had not considered their tremendous impact as feminists, being that they have helped women and families build wealth, and they themselves were a rare breed of women in a business whose growth is largely found in selling to other women decision makers and their families. Indeed, the fact these women were in a commission-based sales positions means they have beaten the wage gap and earn more than their male counterparts, according to the Bureau of Labor statistics.

The world needs more wealthy women. Right now, women and kids are the majority of the world's poor. When men and women get together on women's issues, and when men embrace women's issues as their own, the world changes.

Please browse the blog and find the 10 types of men who empower women, more about why men matter to women in business, and what's in it for men if they embrace women's issues as human issues of their own.

The Laws of Earning Power

2008-02-18T09:16:00.000-08:00

Physical attration and earning power have been ranked equally between men and women in a recent study about what drives people to date.

the article published by Northwestern University states,"But in reality men and women were equally inspired by physical attraction and equally inspired by earning power or ambition. “In other words good looks was the primary stimulus of attraction for both men and women, and a person with good earning prospects or ambition tended to be liked as well,” said Eli Finkel, assistant professor of psychology at Northwestern. “Most noteworthy, the earning-power effect as well as the good-looks effect didn’t differ for men and women.” "

So much for saying women just want men for money, or men want women just for looks.

http://www.northwestern.edu/newscenter/stories/2008/02/partners.html

Women and Men Respond Differently to Stress

2008-01-14T09:58:00.000-08:00

This little association of over 5000 members at www.menmatter.com may be a bridge between genders. It appears that grouping together helps women survive and may be a deeper social response than "fight or flight".

See the latest UCLA study:

> UCLA Study on Friendship Among Women - by Gale Berkowitz>> A landmark UCLA study suggests friendships between women are special.> They shape who we are and who we are yet to be. They soothe our> tumultuous inner world, fill the emotional gaps in our marriage, and> help us remember who we really are.>> By the way, they may do even more. Scientists now suspect that hanging> out with our friends can actually counteract the kind of> stomach-quivering stress most of us experience on a daily basis. A> landmark UCLA study suggests that women respond to stress with a> cascade of brain chemicals that cause us to make and maintain> friendships with other women. It's a stunning find that has turned> five decades of stress research--most of it on men--upside down. Until> this study was published, scientists generally believed that when> people experience stress, they trigger a hormonal cascade that revs the> body to either stand and fight or flee as fast as possible, explains> Laura Cousin Klein, Ph.D., now an Assistant Professor of Bio-behavioral> Health at Penn State University and one of the study's authors. It's an> ancient survival mechanism left over from the time we were chased> across the planet by saber-toothed tigers.>> Now the researchers suspect that women have a larger behavioral> repertoire than just fight or flight; in fact, says Dr. Klein, it seems> that when the hormone oxytocin is released as part of the stress> responses in a woman, it buffers the fight or flight response and> encourages her to tend children and gather with other women instead.> When she actually engages in this tending or befriending, studies> suggest that more oxytocin is released, which further counters stress> and produces a calming effect. This calming response does not occur in> men, says Dr. Klein, because testosterone---which men produce in high> levels when they're under stress---seems to reduce the effects of> oxytocin. Estrogen; she adds, seems to enhance it.>> The discovery that women respond to stress differently than men was> made in a classic "aha" moment shared by two women scientists who were> talking one day in a lab at UCLA. There was this joke that when> the women who worked in the lab were stressed, they came in, cleaned> the lab, had coffee, and bonded, says Dr. Klein. When the men were> stressed, they holed up somewhere on their own. I commented one day to> fellow researcher Shelley Taylor that nearly 90% of the stress research> is on males. I showed her the data from my lab, and the two of us> knew instantly that we were onto something. The women cleared their> schedules and started meeting with one scientist after another from> various research specialties. Very quickly, Drs. Klein and Taylor> discovered that by not including women in stress research, scientists> had made a huge mistake: The fact that women respond to stress> differently than men has significant implications for our health.>> It may take some time for new studies to reveal all the ways that> oxytocin encourages us to care for children and hang out with other> women, but the "tend and befriend" notion developed by Drs. Klein and> Taylor may explain why women consistently outlive men. Study after> study has found that social ties reduce our risk of disease by lowering> blood pressure, heart rate, and cholesterol.>> There's no doubt, says Dr. Klein, that friends are helping us live> longer. In one study, for example, researchers found that people who> had no friends increased their risk of death over a 6-month period. In> another study, those who had the most friends over a 9-year period cut> their risk of death by more than 60%. Friends are also helping us live> better. The Health Study from Harvard Medical School found that the> more friends women had, the less likely they were to develop physical> impairments as they aged, and the more likely they were to be leading a> joyful life. In fact, the results were so significant, the researchers> concluded, that not having close friends or confidantes was as> detrimental to your health as smoking or carrying extra weight!>> When the researchers looked at how well the women functioned after the> death of their spouse, they found that even in the face of this biggest> stressor of all, those women who had a close friend and confidante were> more likely to survive the experience without any new physical> impairments or permanent loss of vitality. Those without friends were> not always so fortunate. Yet if friends counter the stress that seems> to swallow up so much of our life these days, if they keep us healthy> and even add years to our life, why is it so hard to find time to be> with them?>> That's a question that also troubles researcher Ruthellen Josselson,> Ph.D., co-author of "Best Friends: The Pleasures and Perils of Girls'> and Women's Friendships" (Three Rivers Press, 1998). Every time we get> overly busy with work and family, the first thing we do is let go of> friendships with other women, explains Dr. Josselson. We push them> right to the back burner.>> That's really a mistake because women are such a source of strength to> each other. We nurture one another. And we need to have unpressured> space in which we can do the special kind of talk that women do when> they're with other women. It's a very healing experience.>> UCLA Study on Friendship Among Women> Nancy K. Montagna, Ph.D.> Solution-Focused Psychotherapy> http://www.nancymontagna.com/> 301 587-5735> www.oiseauxsisters.com <http://www.oiseauxsisters.com>>

2007Year End

2007-12-25T23:50:00.000-08:00

I'd like to forget parts of this year, but I suppose we are trained through our trials. I once wrote that God teaches men through failure. But I'd prefer that complete system failure not take place in order for us to learn. Or also, in the words of B.B. King, the great blues philospher, "When a man is grown, you can't raise him over again."

The goal of Men Matter, Earning Power, and The Wealth Gap was never to change men, but to locate the good ones who are interested in empowering women for the betterment of everyone. But the men who already have the idea that women's issues are actually men's, and that these issues are critical to our families are not the ones who need the information the most.

I look forward to 2008 and the growth of this movement toward social change. I hope others will join and stay in touch.

Last month, I reached out to several hundred new women and men, one to one, who got a chance to hear me talk about all of the ways men I trusted had betrayed or failed me personally, and how it only renews my focus on the importance of this cause. Men do matter to women. A simple truth. I only wish that more would conduct themselves with that in mind.

My best to you and your families.

Rachel Bondi

The mistake of The Feminine Mistake

2007-05-14T18:41:00.000-07:00

“Women who choose to be full-time mothers deserve a better hearing,” said Rebecca Mead of the New Yorker when reviewing Leslie Bennetts’ book The Feminine Mistake. The question is if dropping out of work to stay at home with kids is a terrible risk to women as the book suggests, or a wonderful reward.

Bennetts’ book is filled with accurate facts and is actually quite good. But the mistake of The Feminine Mistake is that it is clearly blaming men’s issues on women. In other words, the book is actually a great lesson for men couched in criticizing the victims and survivors of male financial neglect, abuse and coercion due to financial dependency.

The author’s inherent assumption is that the overall strategy of women needs to include giving up on men because men are inherently unreliable in caring for their wife or family. Husbands have a tendency to leave, die, lose jobs, have affairs, and generally behave with financial capriciousness that leaves women and their children destitute.

It’s arguable that having a husband is actually one of the best ways for a woman to have the assurance of financial stability not only during retirement, but also while staying home to raise kids. But assuming that Bennetts’ premise is correct, why blame women? A better focus is toward making men understand why and how their behavior is the biggest indicator of wives and mothers becoming financially empowered or financially destroyed. Husbands have a huge financial impact.

In a 2004 AARP article, researchers discovered that about two thirds of divorce by women over age 40 was a result of women leaving some sort of abuse. Their husbands’ behavior included non-consentual affairs or sexual abuse, alcohol and substance abuse, mental, emotional and financial abuse.

Bennetts dwells on stories of financial coercion or women by abusive men. This is a men’s anger and control issue. Financials must be consensual, equal or not. I usually make it a rule not to comment on what may go on in other peoples’ bedrooms, but if your wife is essentially a financial slave or an indentured servant, your married life is probably not working well. A man’s roles might include breadwinner, companion and lover, father, and spiritual protector. If a man fails by disempowering or infantilizing his partner through flexing his economic power, he does it to the detriment of all, including his children and ultimately himself.

Maybe prince charming isn’t coming, or maybe if he arrives he changes after his wife becomes pregnant and is no longer viewed as a respected peer. Even a woman who is a model of self-reliance before marriage may struggle with dependency during pregnancy or after having kids. It is not a woman’s choice to be financially abused or coerced,

Shirley P. Glass, Ph.D says, “Among the 350 couples I have treated, approximately 62 percent of unfaithful men met their affair partners at work.” Today’s workplace has become the new danger zone of romantic attraction and opportunity, with the biggest threat coming from women who are willing to damage other women by having affairs with breadwinning husbands. “The significant news about these new affairs-- and what is different from the affairs of previous generations--is that they originate as peer relationships. People who truly are initially just friends or just friendly colleagues slowly move onto the slippery slope of infidelity,” says Glass. Even a woman who is a model of self-reliance before marriage may struggle in competition with other women during pregnancy or after having kids.

A married man must be accountable for maintaining his own boundaries against the temptation of betraying his wife and family, the stay-at-home mom can’t be responsible for managing his boundaries for him. The Feminine Mistake would have you believe that wives are naïve or foolish, and perhaps they are hoping for fidelity. In reality they should be able to trust their husband when he made a commitment.

A woman’s choice to work or not can’t stop a lousy partner. A balance of power issue, such as a man drawing entitlement from the principle that “the earner gets the final say,” may be masked or truly alleviated by a woman who earns her own income. But the underlying problem is controlling men who chose not to defend, protect and empower women. Using male privilege, abandonment, intimidation or threats are forms of non-physical violence against women. We need to educate men toward shared responsibility, economic partnership, trust, support, negotiation and fairness, honesty and responsible parenting that begins with respecting the mother whether she makes income or not.

When a husband is divided against his wife they can’t stand. Similarly a woman should be able to trust her husband to financially do what is in her best interest not his own, his friends or his mistress. A couple should be transparent about protecting her and the kids in case of loss of job, health, or life. When done right, marriage is a great proposition for both genders.

My Week with Warren Farrell

2007-04-27T14:57:00.000-07:00

My Week with Warren Farrell

It’s the end of Equal Pay Week, and I’ve been spending the week with Warren Farrell’s book Why Men Earn More, trying to follow his advice in his twelfth chapter. The often quoted book is extremely popular with those proponents that believe the wage gap is a result of women’s “lifestyle choices”. As recently as the beginning of this month, Carrie Lukas, VP of the Independent Women’s Forum started a firestorm of blog commentary for her article in the Washington Post wherein she quotes Farrell’s book to support her perspective of self-blame for this nation’s women’s wage gap problem. “I’m the cause of the wage gap,” says Lukas, choosing to be fulfilled rather than be well paid.

So to honor Equal Pay Day, I chose Chapter Twelve of Farrell’s book because his ideas particularly and coincidentally bankrupt for how women can make up the pay gap.

Farrell Idea Number One: Women can make up the pay gap through tips when working jobs that please men.

Much like Gloria Steinem at the Playboy Club of yesteryear, I went over to an Orange County institution---Captain Creams in Lake Forrest---to find out just how much a forty-year-old mother of four like myself could make as a waitress or dancer. On page 199, Farrell implies that women have such an advantage over men in these positions; it is really unfair for the men. Farrell suggests I’ll be making $200 per night just in tips, multiplied out five-days a week for a year. I can’t wait for the money to roll in.

Imagine how disappointed I was to learn that the waitress job is indeed minimum wage, but the job of dancer is commission only! In addition, “You have to have a portfolio to bring to try outs on Sunday nights”, says Rob the doorman. So it’s not really considered an unskilled job. Farrell had really inappropriately set my expectations on page 183 of his book when he says, “Women are more likely to be hired when skills aren’t required.” Also, come to find out that $200 in tips every night of the week is in fact, not the norm.

Farrell Idea Number Two: Women can make “invisible income” because of their good looks and sex appeal.

I’m really excited about the idea of getting things for free to make up for the estimated $700,000 to $1.5 Million lost over a woman’s lifetime to unequal pay. Farrell on page 193 suggests that men “pay” women with gifts for being sexually attractive. There’s nothing wrong with getting a free lunch for being pretty, if it’s actually at no cost to the woman, right? On page 196, he even expands this idea to a woman who has even gotten her house painted for free, clearly having an advantage over males with this female “invisible income” he speaks of.

I took this very practical advice directly to an application in my own home. I’m doing $14,000 of home repairs to put my property up for sale, and I asked my general contractor, Juan, if he wouldn’t mind painting my house for free. He said no, even though I batted my eyes. I asked him hypothetically, if I traded another “job” for the paint job, would it be free then. Juan responded with a smile, “I have an entire crew that would need to be paid.” My conclusion? Invisible income for the average woman is just that: nonexistent.

Farrell Idea Number Three: Marrying up allows for more social and financial options, and being dependent upon a breadwinning spouse makes the most economic sense.

I gave up my checkbook, bank account, credit cards and everything that makes me financially independent this week following Farrell’s guidance on pages 171 and 203. On these pages he discusses how putting women back into the home as wives and mothers exclusively makes economic sense, and marrying up gives women more financial options. I decided to ask my husband every time I needed any sort of economic support. By the end of the week, he was fed up with my requests for everything from Similac to gas money.

“If I had to go to a wife every time I needed to pay for anything it would make me feel castrated like I’d have to look around for my balls,” Guido says looking downward. Good thing for women, I guess. But I agreed with the sentiment. I actually felt like I had fewer financial options than when I had my own sources of income to draw from, not more options as Farrell implied. It’s nice to be cared for, but also humiliating disempowering to be so completely dependent.

So another week of non-equal pay is concluded. I’m certain Farrell supporters will cry “foul”, but I’m honestly tired of the wage gap being blamed on the fallacy that it’s a woman’s choice to be paid less than a man for the same job performance. The real choice for women isn’t available: to be paid like fathers when we are working mothers.

Number of Female Board Members Declines

2007-03-28T13:39:00.000-07:00

http://www.forbes.com/2007/03/21/women-corporate-boards-lead_cz_cf_0321directorship.html?partner=rss

This year there are fewer women on corporate boards than there have been since the mid-90's. Uh oh.

Wage Gap Still News

2007-03-27T16:32:00.000-07:00

http://www.bizjournals.com/extraedge/washingtonbureau/archive/2007/01/08/bureau2.html

http://origin.mercurynews.com/personalfinance/ci_5394336

A California report and another report by the Institute for Policy and Research have both revealed again that there is a wage gap.

It hasn't gone away. But read why there is an even bigger gap to worry about in my book at www.thewealthgap.com.

How's that for a blatant pitch. ; )

Is marriage endangered?

2007-02-08T08:58:00.000-08:00

The Philadelphia Inquirer, Chicago Tribune and The Boston Globe all reported this week that that there are now more unmarried women---51%---than married.

Is this an indicator that women no longer need men?

Could be, except for the fact that if you remove women from 15 to 18 from the numbers, you get the majority of women married again. In addition, the figures say that women with husbands in prison or working remotely, such as deployed overseas fighting a war, qualify to be counted as single. They are in fact married.

Many writers have taken up the opportunity to make digs at the American husband, but statistics show men are increasing time with their kids and making progress on being supportive to their families in ways other than strictly "breadwinner". Just not at the pace most women would prefer given the message growing up that we are "equals". According to the census men still work as much as 50% more hours outside the home than their wives.

Statistically married men are still happier and earn more than non-married, and married women have a better chance of a wealthy retirement when married. Both men and women have freedoms to lose if married, but a great deal to gain economically, spritually and emotionally if things work out. Although not as robust as in the 50's, marriage ain't a bad deal. It's just REALLY different from being single.

So before you mock the American husband, or criticize the wife whose expectations on her man were too high to keep him, look at the facts. There are still good reasons to be married and work at marriage, even if people seem to have all the reason to give up.

Career Woman the New Trophy Wife?

2007-01-17T08:54:00.000-08:00

It used to be that being a gorgeous doll of a wife was considered the most important accessory on the arm of a wealthy man. Nowadays there are power couples where them man's mate is powerful in her own right.

Why? An increase in the number of women entering the workforce, reduction in the gender wage gap, improvement of child care facilities, and widespread male acceptance of female success are all factors. Some typical “power couples” are Bill Clinton and Hillary Rodham Clinton, Tony Blair and Cherie Blair. Celebrity examples include Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones, and David Beckham and Victoria Beckham.

BBC Worldwide link http://english.donga.com/srv/service.php3?biid=2007011773628

Women's Club Inducts First Male Member

2007-01-16T13:08:00.000-08:00

The Washington Chapter of the Business and Professional Women's Club welcomed Robert C. Korman as the first male member of their club. Korman said, "Their goal is the same thing I firmly believe in--bringing women to the forefront and equality," adding "I encourage other men to step up."

Korman is the director of Marketing for a nursing and rehabilitation center in Canton, PA. So that does mean he works with women more often than many of the men who inquire for information at our website www.menmatter.org. But we are always happy to hear when a women's group accepts male members.

http://post-gazette.com/pg/06365/749678-58.stm

A Stubborn Gap: Four thoughts for 2007

2007-01-01T15:31:00.000-08:00

A Stubborn Gap

The overall wage gap is getting a lot of attention recently in the New York and LA Times, as well through the growing Motherhood Movement. With the potential for female presidential candidates in the next election, we should expect these issues to move toward center stage at the water-cooler in 2007.

Better women’s education has not led to pay parity.

The New York Times revealed last week what our site has been talking about for years: even with increased merits (education, seniority, experience), women are not achieving pay parity with men. The article skirts around the issue that motherhood may be the reason, but doesn’t go deeper into how parenting roles are part of a larger wealth gap for women, and how men are actually part of the solution rather than the problem.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/24/business/24gap.html?ei=5090&en=933b94a789dad020&ex=1324616400&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss

Men’s wages are falling as compared to the cost of living.

This is the second story recent news story supporting what earning power has said all along is from the LA Times about how men’s wages stagnating is the reason the pay gap has narrowed.

http://www.nashuatelegraph.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20061204/BUSINESS/61204002/-1/XML07

A cultural shift has not yet taken place, and we are living with the antiquated myths and biases of the past.

We also talked about in the stream of history how the roles of fathers and mothers in the information age have yet to be adapted from the former industrial age into something more modern and accommodating.

http://www.mothersmovement.org/features/06/03/newmyths_1.html

The issue for many women is getting more women into office, regardless of positions on the other issues like war or the economy.

Condoleezza Rice or Hilary Clinton? A lot of little girls are going to be inspired by the idea that a woman could be President. Watch for these women and others becoming the focus of closing the leadership gap in 2007. Andy Rooney did a 60 minutes segment on this topic.

Just remember that in Corporate America executive women are still a rarity, so the leadership gap may be lifted more to the forefront along with the wage gap and other issues concerning mother’s rights if business follows the social lead of politics.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/04/19/60minutes/rooney/main1513207.shtml

http://uswomanpresident.com/1st.htm

Is James Bond Mr. Right?

2006-12-05T18:12:00.000-08:00

In the film Casino Royale, James Bond walks out of the ocean, muscles wet and dripping as he poses just long enough for every man to envy him and every woman to be thankful that it isn’t another impossibly perfect Bond girl walking out of the water this time. But is, “I want to marry James Bond!” what women are really thinking?

Women’s magazines spend a lot of time talking about Mr. Right. They tell a woman if she has the right hair, clothes, shoes, make-up, sexual techniques and passes a quiz she can get and keep the right guy, get married, have kids, and be a good parent.

Men’s magazines could care less about all of that. The articles are totally laid out for a man to train to be an agent like Bond. Articles and advice include how to have the right car, the right gadgets, how to gamble, use weapons, play video games, fight and win, master a sport, travel and have the right look to get promoted at work, or of course, get some hot action from the variety of babes pictured in the magazine that all want him.

So what happens when James Bond has to settle down and raise a family? Like in any Bond film he gets betrayed before we can find out, but I suspect when Mr. Bond finally gets “whipped” it’s not a pretty sight. Suddenly he’s missing all of the tools required to make a home run smoothly, raise kids and keep his wife happy.

I can hear Mrs. Bond now, “Have you been out playing poker again while I have to bathe and put the kids to bed?” And, “How are we going to pay all of these speeding tickets now that you’ve lost your ‘00’ status? You know if you’d get up sooner you could get to appointments on time instead.”

I see Mr. Bond just thinking about eating, sleeping, or how much better Mrs. Bond looked when she was out with him having a martini or two before he got her so repeatedly pregnant, hormonal, and exhausted that he now hardly recognizes her.

James Bond is very cool. If I ever have an espionage issue, I’d love to have him on my side. But I’d rather have a man I can side with when it comes to the needs of our family than the spy who loved me, but didn’t know how. Maybe we can figure out how to make more of those: powerful men who chose to empower rather than overpower as a lifestyle.

Fortune, Forbes, and Pepsi

2006-11-06T12:05:00.000-08:00

Last month Forbes released its list of most powerful women, Fortune held its conference for women leaders, and Indra Nooyi became CEO of PepsiCo. Women are making headlines, but what is the real story behind the news?

Forbes revealed that Indra’s appointment was because the board and the existing CEO Steven Reinemund really pushed for a female CEO despite objections that Indra didn’t have the comprehensive experience they might have found from an external candidate. Many CEOs, in fact many business leaders, don’t have comprehensive experience. The point here is that the men in charge were one of the 10 types of guys that empower women.

A friend told me in confidence that when Carly Fiorina became CEO of HP, the back story was that Lou Platt, HP’s founder, had just lost his wife to cancer and specifically requested the consideration of a female candidate for the CEO post in order to honor his wife. The surprise was that Carly consistently insisted that being female was not considered when selecting her as CEO.

All of the women Fortune considered the most powerful can fit into one room for one conference. There must not be a whole lot of them. Fortune began inviting writers and researchers on women’s issues to fill up the room and create lively discussion, and it was lively and inspiring. But it also illustrates that there is a long way to go before we don’t need to gather at a women’s conference to discuss the problem of women’s career empowerment because it’s obvious we have achieved parity rather than tokenism.

I think it is going to take an open discussion of how men’s influence works on women’s careers so that there is a larger candidate pool of successful women with the experience required to fill the leadership and talent headcount requirements are already available.

Burning Man

2006-09-24T18:33:00.000-07:00

At the beginning of this month 35,000 people met in the Nevada Black Rock desert to celebrate the ritual of large burning a wooden man. I went to Burning Man with the guy who first set up the internet out in Black Rock city, which is now done every year. I was just thinking about hanging out with the guys in the dirt in my dust goggles and driving the sail-powered car across the sand like a crew of Mad Max crazies. Sometimes it's good to get out of the house and connect with other people in business when they're not in business to get a fresh perspective. Thanks guys.

The Cultural Environment of American Business

2006-09-24T18:31:00.000-07:00

I was asked recently, what does anthropology have to do with business and women’s empowerment? The answer is that anthropology is the broad study of mankind and can help bring awareness to larger patterns of the human condition. As in medicine there are general doctors, and then there are specialists, so too in social science anthropologists bring together multiple specialties such as politics, sociology, economics, history and more to understand patterns and predict strategy.

OK. So let’s talk anthropology.

Socialization

So how does this apply to business? Each company is socialized in three ways: through the larger culture, the business culture, and the corporate culture and its subcultures within. Anthropology can extent organizational behavior to connect to the larger community of suppliers and customers in which the company exists. This can help define effective rules of the game, boundaries between competitive versus unethical behavior, code of conduct in negotiation, as well as definitions of success, failure, priorities and even the jargon and communication style.

With the advent of technological advances the diffusionism of United States’ societal concepts has been accelerated worldwide. This means that many ideas that capture world mindshare originate from the societal structures already in place even if they are antiquated as an effective model for the generations to come. Each culture has it’s unique history, and we must consider the cultural particularism on the U.S. as far as gender and the workplace in order to estimate the future based on the context of the past. This will allow us to reconstruct the path in order to best determine where the world is heading.

We want not only to develop a sympathetic understanding of the motivations that guide people through daily choices, but we also want to be able to direct in a prescriptive manner, rather than simply descriptive discussion that is ultimately as directionless, relative and ultimately irrelevant and ineffective because it leads to inaction.

Applied Social Science

Sociobiology dictates that cultures will choose activities that innately increase the probability of reproducing offspring. Despite their being no universal pattern that all cultures subscribe to, some general patters of structural functionalism can be identified based upon the preference to procreate, rather than biological determinism which suggests the purpose of the woman is to gestate and procreate.

Our imperative here is to discover the emic cognitive, or mental thought patterns of gender groups according to how they are encouraged by society. In other words, if we were a complete foreigner, what would we need to know in order to act like a native in the workplace as a male or as a female. This is regardless of the personal psychology the individual expresses despite enculturation. Here we are more interested in reflecting the national character of US corporations and institutions in regard to relationships between men and women.

It is easier to dichotomize the uniformities in human thought according to unconscious biases between the male and female experience. Therefore, it is perhaps an oversimplification to content with the binary opposition of the sexes while experientially we know there more accurately exists a range of gender characteristics that individualize men and women rather than stereotype them. However, since worldwide the same patterns emerge, we can assume their recurrence has some bearing of true supercultural structuralism. Some of these patterns include the worldwide lack of women in leadership, lower pay for women, and dependency upon men to derive personal wealth. Looking closely at the cultural material evidence reveals a near universal experience of women identifying with a lack of power and innate authority when it comes to the major positions of influence in public society from business, to politics to media impact.

Social Justice

Ethical reasoning would lead us to be concerned from a social justice perspective. Is litigation the only way to accomplish ultimate gender parity because women have a biological function that men do not, and therefore a sexual element to everything from clothing to speech when it comes to workplace expectations? If we do not pursue justice then are we not fulfilling human potential? Dignity is an intrinsic value, and it is unacceptable to not nurture the hope that the genders restore repect for each other by pursuing a solution. It is important not only to consider doing what is right, but also what will be good, when addressing a change to the former structures that no longer meet the needs of a modern society in the information age. We must consider that the outcome is not predetermined, but does rely upon psychological egoism, or tying the actions to self-interest, in order to succeed. And here has been a critical failure of the women’s movement—to make women’s issues men’s issues by defining the clear benefits to men for being part of the solution.

What we wish do accomplish here is simply the dropping of a though stone which allows the ripple effect to begin, eventually toward claiming the mindshare of the community of men and women worldwide.

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” —Margaret Mead

Solutions

What will be the course of the War of the Sexes? As with any war, in order to make peace we must either have one gender win uncontested (meaning one loses), settle with a treaty, avoid the opposite side entirely (which some have chosen but most would not), or create alliances.

Other anthropologists and social scientists like Margaret Mead, Joan Williams, and Sylvia Ann Hewlett, have been wildly successful putting forth ideas for cultural change, pointing out patterns and coining terms like Arlie Russell Hochschild’s “second shift” and Felice Schwartz’ “mommy track”. Anthropology itself has changed the course of biology pointing out race equality of humanity, challenging psychology by pointing out Freudian concepts do not exist cross-culturally, and challenging economics and geological theory by pointing out variety within even small areas.

In the case of women, basic physical needs for food, clothing and shelter (and those of their children) often supercede social needs to the exclusion of being empowered enough solve wider social issues (peace, justice, equality, wealth to sustain, etc.). This is why it requires emotional archaeology to uncover the ideal for women and if it can really be accomplished without change in he male and the historical social structures we must work within to solve issues dealing with gender parity.

When it comes down to it, corporate culture is held up to the light of the nation’s cultural values such as rationality, integrity, cooperativeness, diligence, delivery on promise and efficiency. When these values are mirrored trust is established and brand loyalty increases.

Mankind is the creator of human history, and therefore we do have the ability fashion the future with what we have learned from the past. But our future comes out of our web of personal choices that lead to interpersonal consequences. And yet there is also a super-culture that is formed by limited resources that we struggle with, that system of acquiring and maintaining property or using limited resources we’ve been given and all of the involvements and values associated with it. We cannot become enlightened and then remain self-interested anyway.

Neutral Defining of the Issues

Power and prestige are different things. Prestige is a distinction or reputation that empowers a person, whether it is real or imagined. Power is the real ability to affect or control behavior of another based upon legal or social clout. For example, society may say that mother hood is admirable or prestigious, yet mothers themselves may not have the power to restructure the workplace to accommodate temporary leaves of absence over a career lifetime. Here we see illustrated also the difference between a cultural norm, what is ideal, and a social norm, what is the actual behavior when observing what happens when moms attempt to return to the workplace with the same respect. The laws require equal treatment, the mores require we treat our society’s moms well, but the folkways reflect that we really don’t welcome them back or pay them as much as before they had kids.

Status or role can either be achieved through earning it or voluntarily seeking and collecting various merits and accomplishments, but there are also social roles and status that are inherited involuntarily which are conferred socially as a label. With gender comes status. Status means position and title, role signifies the behavior and the power to do something. Basically empowering women is just an attempt to correct status inconsistency, that is where income is less than occupational prestige or job effectiveness performance such as the wage gap, or where a double standard appears to exist favoring one gender’s career pattern over the other in a way that makes the norm favorable to one gender rather than the other, such as the absence of women in leadership. This causes a role strain for working mothers, for example, that does not exist for working fathers, and creates role conflict for full-time fathers.

Males do not experience the same sort of victim socialization, that process by which society describes a disadvantageous role or status to women, even if unintentional. I point this out because racism, bigotry, exploitation and discrimination that arise out of an intense intentional disliking is different from the more subtle societal patterns, expectations or self-segregation that work against one group or another can arise from personal choice or positive incentives that drive behavior. Racism has the hope of elimination over time simply because of the amalgamation or mixing of cultures that naturally occurs and has been accelerated worldwide through shared media. Misogyny or sexism’s only hope for elimination is assimilation wherein both genders raise awareness in order to create a common culture created from the best traits of both male and female, disadvantaging neither.

Resocialization

The three universal behavior patterns that emerge when talking about behavior in groups are competition, cooperation and accommodation, where in there is a temporary cessation or permanent termination of competitive interaction until there is an adjustment, such as a truce, a compromise, or toleration. What is missing in our culture, and certainly reflected in the business and corporate environment, is an acceptance of a scenario that that pleases both genders or at least penalizes them equally in compromise, continuing to make women a social minority in leadership despite their statistical majority in the general population. Tokenism on boards or in officer positions does not mean parity has been achieved, as Carly Fiorina suggested when saying womankind had won the battle of the sexes simply because she was appointed CEO of HP.

What’s interesting is if there ever were socio-biological reasons that drove the structures to favor men at work they no longer hold no longer hold. In other words the re is no sociological relationship to biological evolution when it comes to physical requirements in most jobs of the information age. So if it paid to be the biggest and the strongest physically when it came to hunting down live animals for food, this physical prowess is no longer required when hunting down and closing million dollar deals.

Change in this area will come as it always has in human history by two means, reinforcement and resocialization. We must continue to raise awareness. First, comes ourselves, then our significant others, and finally generalized others that may also benefit from change. In other words we must frame who men and women were, who we are now, who we ought to be instead, and who we can and will be.

Once we were hunter gatherers, then we became domesticators, and finally urban. The hunters were mobile in small groups, their technology was stone tools and weapons, matriliniage and patriliniage were of equal value and man flourished through reciprocity when a surplus was shared. Agriculturalism lead to greater trade and a stratified society, the technology was irrigation, plows and domesticated animals, and lineage became important to track and the entire family worked together, while.reciprocity grew into redistribution through trade centers. In the industrial age formal states ruled, with technology to convert energy and machinery to create goods. Factory work and child protection laws required a bi-lateral division of gender roles into who would do childcare at home and who would work at another location on the production line or in the office. The market became mechanized and sophisticated.

But now we must adapt and take advantage of the information age, defined by technology that allows people to connect anytime and anywhere, with a global economy that changes the dynamics of the domestic economy. Both men and women can work flexibly and untied to location, while the superstructure of worldwide business moves to project-and-skill matched contracting and services. The domestic life and the roles of parents have yet to change and settle into something more appropriate to the times. Directionality and development dictates topological requirements evolve toward a post industrial pattern.

Perhaps with heightened awareness we can move this more consciously toward a blend that improves flexibility in meeting the needs of working fathers and mothers and their children to the betterment of society long term.

Forbes Suggests: Don't Marry a Career Woman

2006-08-29T13:30:00.000-07:00

Summary: Sure it’s easy to blame the correlation between working women and divorce, but with how many women are working nowadays you could have the same correlation arise by saying most divorces occur between women who drive, so “Don’t Marry a Woman Driver”.

A recent opinion column in Forbes hits directly on a topic I try to sidestep as a woman who heads a men’s organization for mentoring career women: that of men’s secret opinions and evaluations of whether or not the women at the office would be sexually attractive mates as well as coworkers.

The real issue here is if working women are indeed anti-family. The author Michael Noer is trying to protect men, but his block and tackle is misplaced.

We know that salary bias arises most intensely when women bear children, and that childless women are often fighting the bias that long-term they may have kids, and ultimately other priorities than the company’s needs.

So which is it, the company’s needs or the family’s needs?

The Forbes article suggests that marriages in which women have careers are more likely to end in divorce, but the fact is that according to the latest Labor Bureau statistics, even though most women are not working full time, about 71% of US mothers do have paid jobs, qualifying them to be called “career women”. And 61% of those working moms have a child at home under three.

With or without kids, chances are a man will date and marry a woman who will work outside the home at some point while they are married. So chances are when the marriage splits up, the guy will have divorced a "working woman" according to research criteria.

Companies need women to work as much as the women need to work both for money and personal fulfillment. No one questions when a man goes to work for his family and divides his priorities. Evidence shows that married men with children are paid more than anyone else. If compensation reflects value to the business, then having kids is a great motivator to men to work. Why isn’t it viewed the same way for women yet?

Most of the feminist response to the Forbes opinion article has been not only to attack the author, but men in general. This saddens me, because it isn’t just fat, lazy, non-earning men that are seeking real answers to why their personal relationships with women don’t seem to be working out. Sure it’s easy to blame the correlation between working women and divorce, but with how many women are working nowadays you could have the same correlation arise by saying most divorces occur between women who drive, so “Don’t Marry a Woman Driver”.

I’ve often said men judge working women in the context of the women they have experienced personally, such as their mother, their sister, or women they have dated. If they can’t find something positive and familiar with a woman at work, they think of that woman as unsafe or untrustworthy. This is a major blow to the woman’s career when trust is such a large component of promotions and leadership.

I love the Forbes opinion, because it shows a guy honest and vulnerable, but confusing the facts, and instead of correcting him or giving him alternatives, he is being pounced on. Perhaps he should have shared his thoughts privately with some women he trusts before throwing them out to a public who misses his point because he suggests the wrong solution.

I’ve heard the damage is done to career women, but in my opinon we need to do a better job than another viewpoint from Salon.com's Rebecca Traister, collecting opinions from women around the country who take this as another opportunity to be angry with men. By going to the source of the data Michael Noer uses to form his opinion, we learn that the two guys at the University of Virginia are looking for answers, too. And their conclusion is that what really makes a marriage work is the, “men’s marital emotion work” and “gender equity and the normative commitment to the institution of marriage”. In other words, loyalty and nurturing are the traits that make marriage work. Career, laid off, or retired.

Excerpt from Upcoming Book: The Wealth Gap

2006-08-28T13:00:00.000-07:00

Men may earn more to invest up front, but ultimately the wealthiest men differentiate themselves from the average men by how they invest their earned money. Creating residual income from investment is the only way to wealth regardless of gender. I’m not talking about getting rich, like winning the jackpot. I’m talking about investing the jackpot or whatever you are able to make into businesses, such as real estate, that make short and long term returns for you.
So why do so many women leave property ownership and management up to the men when it is one of the only sexless playing fields?
Being married is still the way the majorities of women get their income and retire well off. Even if they don’t marry them or have an intimate relationship with them, a lot of women make a lot of money by associating themselves with up-and-coming men.

Superman, The Father

2006-07-12T01:10:00.000-07:00

Who will be appearing as the next guest on Maury Povich? Maury opens the envelope as a tense Lois Lane sits eyeing her shoes and the stage. “Superman, you ARE the father.” The audience let’s out whooping cheers and boos simultaneously.

Die hard fans know there is more wrong with the new Superman Returns than a freefall from space. But the irony isn’t lost on the fact that the 21st century version of classic archetype now stands for half-truths and “all that stuff” instead of the “American Way”. Forget kryptonite, his biggest weakness is an ungrateful, bitter Lois who still isn’t convinced her son needs his absentee father full time because she’s found a good working substitute.

Superman gets to represent the masculinity crisis for all men. Although Lois owes her life to him, he gets the cold shoulder. It’s not like he even knows why. It goes to show you how the most powerful guy on the planet can Gump his way into the paternal betrayal of desertion and return only to fly away again, presumably to get on with his real job.

Since when did Superman get more constrained and powerless than the rest of us? He’s so demeaned no wonder he isn’t given much dialog. Are we to believe that even Superman can’t offer care, protection and strength?

Perhaps the father’s silence is passed to the son.

Superman’s alleged offspring does get to run around the newspaper office while the adults only roll their eyes (maybe they’re wondering why only Lois gets to bring her kid to work). Otherwise he’s really getting the shaft. He’s standing right next to his dad, rescuing him in a plane, and making hospital rounds and no one gives him the respect to let him in on the back story. Might he also be wondering why he’s able to kill someone with a piano? Probably pent up frustration with all of the irresponsible adults he’s stuck protecting.

Boys need their dads to guide them over the bridge from childhood to becoming a man. Fathers do this by articulating, participating, and engaging in the truth by example with their offspring. Anything less than this amounts to betrayal and failure. Any son will tell you that if their dad was not engaged when he had opportunities, their family body was like the headless horseman riding around looking for the lost head. This haunting shouldn’t be presented as just another alternative we accept as part of the story.

I really miss the real Superman who saved the day. I wish more boys still had him as an example, rather than this new guy. Speaking for estranged kids everywhere, we need a really good explanation when parents don’t stand accountable. When men fail the unspoken promise of fatherhood to their children, the betrayal runs deep. Children don’t play the “I’m not that baby’s daddy” game with any joy, even if the audience thinks it’s entertainment. Especially when the kid has to keep bailing the parents out in life, or on film.

Fear or Revere Father Figures?

2006-06-14T17:46:00.000-07:00

Women very often have an older man, often with kids of his own, mentor them mid-career. In fact, according to a UCLA study, the majority of top women credit a men with helping their careers more than women.

But when I speak to a corporate audience, very often the top guy in charge won’t say a word, but when everyone is gone he pulls me someplace quiet and says something like, “I don’t know anything about this ‘woman in the workplace’ stuff, but as a father, my concern is for own daughter who’ll graduate soon. What can I do?”

This is the situation the working dad finds himself in, the pull between two roles: at work and at home, and the overlap and conflict of his own beliefs.

Mercy! I’m going to be a dad. What can I do? It’s something every dad asks from the moment he inherits the responsibility. Once making bottles is second nature, the tool set for comforting the kids expands, and men look at leaving a legacy they think about issues differently than when they were single and unencumbered. Real fathers don’t hurt their wife or children, but instead are accountable, take time, coach, mentor and encourage, and grow to understand their role in parenthood by stepping outside themselves.

When I spoke with Harry Connick, Jr. last month on the set of the Will and Grace finale, I didn’t know he would be this month’s Redbook cover as, “Heroic, hunky Harry, the perfect man.” Harry was talking about how affected he was by Katrina, the Musician’s Village and fundraisers when we were introduced. Later he was gushing about Georgia, Sara and Charlotte, his daughters. This dad is all over caring about people and family. And maybe being a dad has made you more intimate with larger social causes, too.

This is how it goes when men realize they share many women’s issues that have to do with parenting. Women have been defining their lives by the men in them. Men matter because they make an incredible impact on the lives of women in their sphere of influence. Women live with the choices men make, good or bad. Fathers are in the best position to be positive influences on women, because they are most intimate with protecting the mother’s of their children, and also the most concerned with opening opportunities for their own daughters.

The father figure is a very common type of man that women mention when they talk about their career supporters. The benefit to him in empowering women is to create a better environment for the women in his life by setting an example for the present behavior and future workplace. This guy wants the best for his own women, so he protects and mentors women he works with to create positive energy and a difference within his sphere of influence.

Men who have careers know that while they are out hunting down the next deal in order to provide for the family, they would like to know their family is happily being raised and they appreciate his hard work. They try to partner on raising the first child, negotiate and delegate when the second arrives, and can no longer ignore something has to change by the time there’s a third. Working men marry expecting to insource childraising to the working mother who cannot meet these unrealistic expectations without cutting back on workload or pay, quitting entirely, or outsourcing the childcare to a woman who is even worse off financially.

Why is this important? Because men are looking for women to marry and insource their potential child raising to while they conquer the workplace almost as frantically as employed women seek women to outsource childcare while they go to their jobs.

Responsible breadwinning parents are not going to be at home enough to also give full attention to the kids. Even Harry’s wife and kids wish he was around more.

But this is where fathers can also make the most impact. Women whose fathers share stories from their business, let them participate, or coach them directly are likely to have a distinct advantage when they become businesswomen. In addition, men who help with key household responsibilities having to do with their kids, things too urgent to postpone to a weekend, actually help their family earn more overall when the mother works.

Where are the men on those talk shows when the host is blasting the women for their failures with their kids? Daytime shows are filled with variations on the “I’m not that baby’s daddy” theme. Evening reality nanny shows are about fathers who are acting more “transparent” than “the parent”. Housewife shows where husbands are apathetic, unyielding or clueless partners and fathers abound.

I don’t want to make Father’s Day a day for political rallying. Men should not be victims, neither should women’s rights be replaced by men’s, but sexism should be removed overall rather than played up as a game of foolish finger pointing that damages the next generation.

I’m just saying that men who are mature fathers are sometimes the most clear on why women’s issues are really their issues, too.

Fathers Day itself was started by a woman, Sonora Dodd, who took occasion to thank a man. A widower bringing up five children, her father inspired her to create the Father’s Day celebration that became an official holiday in 1972. According to the census, about two and a half million men are single parents living and raising their children, not unlike Ms. Dodd’s father.

So maybe men sometimes just need to be someone’s hero: admired, thanked, and appreciated. To know what they do matters. Well, it does. Men do Matter. Happy Father’s Day.

Five Reasons Why Men Matter on Mother's Day

2006-05-10T17:23:00.000-07:00

Although there are still slightly more stay at home moms, mother’s paid for work outside the home are on the rise. About 49% of women work outside the home today versus 21% in 1900. Of those, over 70% are working mothers according to the monthly labor review. And they are going to work when their children are younger. In 1955, 18 percent of mothers with children younger than 6 years old worked outside the home; by 2000, that number had leaped to 65 percent.

So what does mother’s day have to do with men, other than their obvious role in making women into moms in the first place? Here are five reasons why mothers’ issues are men’s also.

1) The Wage Gap is a Parenting Issue.

Equal pay happens for unencumbered women. According to the census and Bureau of Labor Statistics, women without children have pretty much achieved pay parity with men in almost every field. The dark side of the data emerges for the majority of women; the women who are mothers. Statistics show that the wage gap emerges when women have children, and rises for each child they have, while men’s pay tends to rise for each child that they have.
In society, about 90% of women have a child by age 40. According to 2000 Bureau of Labor Statistics data and a survey by Maloney and Dingle, the pay gap among working women and men emerges most evident among parents. This data also shows that two-thirds of male managers are parents while only one-third of the women managers are, possibly indicating that the choice of combining work and family responsibilities falls harder on women than men.

2) Baby Boom Married Moms Retire Richer.

The most successful generation of working women show us women retire wealthier when coupled.Only about 20% of boomer women will retire well off, according to sociologist and author Nancy Dailey, and the biggest indicator that a baby boom woman will retire well is if she is married. And the higher the working woman climbed on the corporate ladder, the better the pairing. According to the 1993 Korn/Ferry and UCLA survey, when executive women marry, they tend to get higher earning spouses.

Not only did the majority of boomer women never work full time, only 38% at their peak by some estimates, but the vast majority relied on a partner to sustain them economically. Economist Claudia Goldin’s survey of boomer women wanted to know how successful they were in achieving the dream of “having it all”. What she discovered in her survey was that no more than 13-17% of all the women who graduated between 1966 and 1979 managed to reach mid-life with both a full-time career and family.

3) The poorest women, the elderly and single mothers, are those without good men in their lives.

Unfortunately about 75% of elderly poor are women. With the divorce rate so high and 90% of custody being awarded to women, there’s a high likelihood that a woman will not only have to make money take care of herself but the kids, too. Fully 40% of women who are awarded child support don’t receive it, and half of the remaining 60% don’t get the full amount, leaving women to cover for the men’s financial behavior toward their offspring.

Women are the sole breadwinner in one-fourth to one-third of the families in the world. Working single moms are very often the worst off economically. According to the AFL-CIO, if single working mothers earned as much as men for the same positions, their family income would increase 17% annually, and their poverty levels would be cut in half.

4) The most successful working women credit male mentorship.

When men step in to coach careers, women benefit, and so do the organizations. A survey of Fortune 1000 and 500 Service companies done by Korn/Ferry and UCLA reveals that 74% of executive women had a male mentor, and only 15% had a female mentor. Although women make up about half of the workforce, the statistics show that men still dominate most mid and senior level positions. About 99% of the Fortune 500 CEOs are men. About 93% of the CIO’s are men. Allen & Eby (2004) surveyed over 391 mentors and found male mentors tend to provide more instrumental and career support, whereas female mentorships are more often characterized by a greater degree of emotional support.

5) Dedicated Fathers and Husbands Improve Income.

Not only are fathers outstanding mentors for their own daughters, they can increase the family income by getting involved with their children in general. First, active men increase women’s income. According to a University of Michigan study, mothers with male partners engaged with child raising task at home, the urgent house keeping related to children that cannot be put off until the weekend, earn up to 4% more than working moms without.

Also, family men increase their own income. US Census data indicates that men who have not been married earn less than married men. In addition, that correlation between men’s pay increases with each child they have works toward the man’s favor. Unfortunately, according the Census Bureau family diversity reports, about half of all US households are headed by unmarried adults. There are now more one-person households (28.7 million) than there are households containing married couples with minor children (24.1 million).

So on Mother’s Day, remember that men matter. The best gift you can give a mother is to be a good father, partner, and working mentor. For working mothers, this is an especially urgent and extremely rewarding role that makes thing easier not just on May 14th, but our entire lives.

5 Bottom Line Reasons to Put Women in Charge

2006-04-20T23:39:00.000-07:00

April 25th is Equal Pay Day, and you may be wondering if a woman gets paid the same as a man will it yeild the same economic result.

Why not share the real economic reasons to boost the sense of urgency behind hiring and promoting women by calculating your opportunity costs missed when they aren't?

Here are five bottom line facts that women are good for business:

1) Profitability- Hiring and promoting women can make you more money. How much more? Companies with women in key executive leadership positions are 30-40% more profitable than those without, according to a study by Catalyst.
2) Competitive Edge- Women are the largest consumers online and off. Could female employees knowing how and why female customers spend help your organization compete? According to the Business Women’s Network, women are now the largest purchasers of not only consumer goods, but travel and other services.
3) Growth – When women are in charge, growth can double. Want to see what a woman’s leadership can do to skyrocket sales? Women’s privately owned firms grow at twice the rate of male owned, says the Center for Women’s Business Research. And according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, women in B2B sales earn about 140% of what men do in those positions. (So much for that wage gap!)
4) Global expansion- Women are outstanding candidates for international business. Want to go after new markets and higher margins? Women are more willing to travel and work overseas, according to a Catalyst survey of 452 expatriates.
5) Attraction and Retention- Women owned businesses retain talent and have lower turnover. Does your business, like most, typically spend twice as much recruiting someone as retaining them? Hiring women mitigates these costs. Also, contrary to popular belief, working mothers are loyal hires, as revealed by a study by Deloitte and Touche that over 87% of women who did move on did not leave because of issues with children.

So why should we hire and promote a woman? Because increased profits, costs cut, and avoided expenses are better for business, just like women are, bottom line.

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Rachel Bondi is Founder and CEO of www.EarningPower.org, the premier association for men who want to empower working women, voted Stevie Award’s 2005 Top Five Association of the Year and recently honored as a Top 10 Woman of Power in Orange County, California.

International Women's Month

2006-03-12T22:43:00.000-08:00

March has been International Women’s Month since Congress declared it in 1987. But how have men helped women’s progress from the inception of the women’s movement to today?

Stanton’s Story

Long before International Women’s Month was established, there were women who had careers that became caretakers after marriage and giving birth. One of the most famous was the first organizer of the Seneca Falls 1848 Women’s Rights Convention, Elizabeth Cady Stanton.

Stanton was a working woman who chose to stay home, not fully knowing the impact and consequences of her decision. She wrote about women’s practical difficulties of spending all day with only servants or children, the discontent and weariness from the amount of work at home. Her newspaper ad originally called for other adult women to join her in the small town her husband had moved the family to so she’d have someone to talk to about what she was experiencing.

A journalist and abolitionist leader, her husband was often at work for weeks at a time, very much like the men today that put in 70 hours just to keep up. He empathized with the parallels between the predicament of slaves and women at the time and introduced her to the idea of reform movements.

With a Little Help from Our Men

Surprisingly, Stanton made clear in her speeches that women’s enemy wasn’t men, but “bad principles”. In fact, her husband funded her efforts, as did the husbands of most of the women of her day, as they couldn’t own property of their own. Mary Wollstonecraft, Julia Ward Howe, Margaret Sanger, Angelina Grimke, Margaret Fuller and Ernestine Rose were all married and loved by their men. Most of them had children as well. Stanton herself had seven while she continued a career as a writer and speaker.

What they wanted was to use their intellect in pursuits other than home life, so they pursued change through industry in the political arena with full coaching and mentoring of the men in their lives. For example, Robert Owen, a philosopher and mentor of Mary Wollstonecraft and others was a big supporter of the women’s movement. A well known judge, Stanton’s father sent his daughter to be educated and also let her listen in on his law cases. Outwardly or behind the scenes, men play a huge role even today.

Good for the Goose, Good for the Gender?

Unfortunately, in pursuing the right to be fully human, the only example that women had was men. This is why the movement often confuses human rights with men’s rights. Because there was no discussion about the rights that men didn’t already have, a vision was never formed by both genders of what the men were also missing out on.

Men today still flock to risky careers that put their lives in danger. They still aren’t able to visualize what full participation in fatherhood is versus full participation at work. They have to make their way blindly through decisions on being the breadwinner, allowing their partner to be breadwinner, or dropping out entirely.

True, women are no longer completely dependent upon men. But neither is it correct to suggest that the only way women can find themselves or personal success is completely independent of men.

No, we can all breathe a sign of relief that in fact the most accurate description of men and women is interdependent. The most successful women often credit men with their ability to have an outstanding career in leadership be it a family member or coworker. Likewise, most men who have hired or mentored women find that it has improved their own career success to have her on his side.

Extending this past the realm of the workplace, in the realm of personal relationships or intimacy interdependence becomes indispensable. Gender determines reproduction, not relationships. And so this month, let’s not forget that our best chance for improving our condition is to continue to redefine roles for both men and women while recognizing and encouraging men who have supported a fuller humanity.

To Coretta and Betty

2006-02-27T12:42:00.000-08:00

This month two thought leaders, Coretta Scott King and Betty Friedan, passed away. Each of them stood for the great ideals of equality of opportunity and nonviolence in a world where we believe there is no ideal. And yet they changed individual people’s lives and eventually the world by appealing to our active minds and spirits.

When I met Coretta in the late 1980’s I was a waitress at a private party in her honor. A small venue, Coretta took the time to speak to me, holding my hand, asking me to join the Martin Luther King, Jr. Center for Nonviolent Change in Atlanta. Her own peacefulness, serenity and grace were striking. She was soft-spoken. Her presence was moving. She projected her ideals in the way that her eyes glowed and her energy both intimidated and welcomed when you meet someone of true greatness. Though she reached out to me, she was bigger than I was, amazing and purposeful.

I didn’t move to Atlanta, but I carried the folder of information about the King Institute in a trunk as I traveled around the world, first to Africa with the Peace Corps, then to Japan and on to Istanbul where I taught English as a foreign language. When I was 23 my years of living overseas had ended. I got married young, then divorced, raising my daughter while continuing a career in the Fortune 100 as a single mother.

I never acted overtly or politically, but informally I couldn’t help but still carry Coretta with me. I had opportunities to meet other famous, sometimes powerful people. But meeting her, you never quite recovered from how genuine she was and how you could never be as graceful, as purposeful, as empowered to make a global difference.

However, you can take up a cause. What have you been called to do?

Today, along with raising up four children as did Coretta, maintaining a career and a new marriage, like many women I still believe in changing the world and making a difference. I believe that men matter in women’s careers, leadership and family life. It is all part of a discussion about values and concepts that express a man’s worth to his family and to successful women in general. That is why I write about the importance of change and a cosexual work environment.

Betty Friedan also passed on this month. I never met her, but her books were on my mother’s shelf next to Atlas Shrugged. I read about the problem that had no name, and how women had defined their lives around the needs of the man in their life, losing their own self. Through her book is over forty years old, she identifies issues that still hold us apart.

What I see in business today is women still defining their careers in terms of the men’s rules already in place. At the same time, I see men being bound by a “masculine mystique” that doesn’t allow them the freedom and flexibility to engage and to rise above stereotypes. Dominance and abusiveness doesn’t describe most of the caring and intelligent males I’ve worked with, or the ten types of men who help women that our association, Earning Power, has identified. I have also seen many women attacking their own femininity as sign of weakness, playing it down, beginning to look like men in order to succeed. And ironically attacking the type of men they themselves are trying to project as an image of strength for themselves. Perhaps you’ve met these women, too.

The mission can be adjusted. Yet instead of trying to improve things for both genders, we choose a gender war, choosing an unnecessary tension to permeate our relationships. Pushing forward to accommodate child-raising while conducting our daily business, we discover the focus still on the consumerism, the job of the mother to buy things for the home, as being a woman’s worth to magazine advertisers.

We see society’s exclusion of the male parent continue on the rise to the detriment of the family. Betty said the failure of feminism was that it sacrificed the family, so how can women participate wholeheartedly in a women’s movement that is chiefly concerned with preventing or eliminating pregnancy when the majority of women have at least one child by age 40? The women I know have kids and careers, just like the men I know. Why do we still only achieve salary parity when women choose not to have children?

The important question to ask ourselves is not what the legacy of these two great women is, but what our own legacy is. For when we see that women’s leadership and wage issues are tied to parenting, what is it worth if we weren’t able to put forth solutions that invest in our male and female children and defeat injustice for both genders?

Even if you are not moved by social injustice or human rights, perhaps you can be moved by the personal benefits in your own life from encouraging professional women and mothers to pursue careers that allow them to experience leadership and equal pay for performance. Take up your cause, privately, demonstrate it, publicly, and move forward with dignity. Thank you, Coretta and Betty, for these gifts. I will miss you.

Awareness: Five Challenges Women Leaders Face

2006-01-27T13:48:00.000-08:00

Many men ask, is there really a difference for women who are appointed to leadership?

Here are five things that women in charge have discovered, often to their own surprise:

1) People will notice that she is a woman first, not her title.

One of the common stories of women put into leadership positions is their surprise that people comment on their gender first. Very often, a woman who rises to leadership just assumed that all women were given the opportunities they were. They often don’t recognize that there is a glass ceiling. They tend to be creative problem solvers, the trait most needed to get into leadership positions. Because they focus on possibilities, often they’ve never studied the facts or statistics that would reveal to them how rare and lucky they are compared with the majority of women.

So when they are given a position of power and authority that comes with visibility in the organization, she expects to answer questions about the position, company operations or the facts and numbers of the business. She is not ready to be questioned on her femininity or prepared to represent and defend all working females. Plus her experience is often so radically different from others in her gender that her answers don’t seem to resonate with the rest of us.

2) People will not assume she is competent for the position; the burden of proof is on her.

When a man is hired or promoted, he will be given the assumption of competence. People presume he is competent simply because he’s already been given a title and authority. Very often it takes a long time, many excuses, and forgiveness while the team overlooks or covers up his mistakes. The presumption of competence is absent for women recently appointed to leadership.

Instead, people are suspicious that the woman was put in power for other reasons, perhaps affirmative action, sleeping her way up or favoritism as if she were the CEO’s pet. This causes jealousy, rivalries, and hesitation within the team to follow her lead, reporting suspicious activities to the authorities if she isn’t 100% on her game from the start, and logging her mistakes to get her out of there and put someone who really deserves it in charge.

3) People will find it easier to stick to stereotypes, caricatures and distance in labeling her rather than taking time to grasp her complexities, realities, and intimacy with who she really is.

A woman who is put into to leadership is not a typical woman. She has really played her cards differently and has some sort of edge or talents that are unique. The value she adds is not something that is easily imitated; otherwise women would not be such a rarity in the upper ranks. And yet it is easier for people to make assumptions than to find out the truth and learn something about whom this woman is and her road less taken.
Instead, it’s easier to say she is a –itch, that she didn’t raise her own children, that her husband is less than a man, that she must not have the same sexual integrity, that she is bossy and doesn’t share her secrets and numerous other myths that not only damage her reputation, but also make it difficult for any other women to rise past the biases into positions of leadership. A common story of women in charge is that they can’t believe people wouldn’t ask her directly rather than perpetuate rumor, or that she is so misunderstood. But human nature is to do what is easiest, and that it to label first rather than seek any depth.

4) People will assume she plotted, schemed, and had a hidden game plan to get where she is.

Because business is a game for guys, they often assume everyone has a “game plan”. Very often, women don’t. A lot of women in leadership “fall into” opportunities because they kept their head down and focused on doing the best job they could in the position they were given. They often don’t even know to ask for title upgrades, perks, larger teams or budgets. They assume if they do well with less, someone up top will come down and tap them for a promotion to a position they didn’t even know was open or existed. Very often it is a position the guys have been suggesting, vying for with the upper brass for months, or counting up the additional benefits to them if they get it.

Many people presume that because of her gender, she is expecting special treatment or favors. The work ethic is so rare, and attitude of entitlement so common, that it is hard for people to believe that many women who become leaders are actually genuine. In fact, many women do set goals for their lives or careers, but very rarely is that actually what happens to them. Instead, the music major becomes the CIO of Charles Schwab. The massage therapist ends up Director at Microsoft. And the Secretary of State really intended to be part of a sports team, she just kept doing favors and solving problems for people that helped them out and ended up getting helped up to a position of power.

5) Men who have “context” will do better with her in charge than those without.

Across the board, women report experiencing coaching, mentorship, and less resistance from men in business who have seen or experienced powerful women before. Perhaps they had a competent working mom so they just expect a woman can be competent. Often they have a working wife, who they learn empathy from so that they are more aware of the issues that women encounter at work. One source says that almost 99% of CEO’s wives stay at home, so often male executives have little context for women who must work, and are not doing it to volunteer or have something to keep them busy. Very often, it is when their daughters have grown to an age where they want to enter the workforce that the men in charge become deeply concerned about women’s wages and opportunities. Women in leadership consistently report that men with working women in their lives take them, their advice and experience more seriously.

Boomer Women: Feminism Retires

2006-01-20T13:13:00.001-08:00

The last trickle of the boom is forty, and many have already moved from the workplace to retirement, leaving an incredible legacy to the next generations. Many men want to know if the generation that brought us the “superwoman” be able to leave behind a realistic work and family model for their own daughters?

Theirs is a generation completely explored sex, drugs and rock and rock and roll, leaving ours to discover their downsides. The first generation to enter the Civil Rights Era is now leaving the building, and some people are convinced it is a house of cards.

Perhaps feminism is something functions best for the unencumbered. Women’s rights peaked when boomer women were young. Just by sheer numbers, the boomer generation had the best opportunity to turn the tides of the workplace. With feminists becoming grandmothers, somehow the main topic of discussion appears to have moved away from career and become concerns about “ageing.”

The boomers were a large, powerful and radical generation. Everyone else’s influence seems so finite. After all, there is only one Chief Justice Ginsburg, one Barbara Walters, and one Oprah Winfrey. Who will be picking up the charge?

Career or Family to Career Then Family

Were boomer women able to demonstrate the example of successfully combining career and family? Economist Claudia Goldin’s survey of boomer women wanted to know how successful they were in achieving the dream of “having it all”.

What she discovered in her survey was that no more than 13-17% of all the women who graduated between 1966 and 1979 managed to reach mid-life with both a full-time career and family. She found women with no children had twice the career success of those with kids.

Bag Lady Blues?

Are boomer women less dependent on men than mothers were? Only about 20% of boomer women will retire well off, according to sociologist and author Nancy Dailey, and the biggest indicator that a baby boom woman will retire well is if she is married.

The majority of boomer women lost enormous sums of money from pensions, social security and investments because they still had to trade off seniority for pregnancy and the infant care years before they could return to work in more flexible situations with fewer benefits, if at all.

The focus of feminism was to remove all disadvantages of women, yet today’s young women deem that an unrealistic goal for women today simply because they yield to the realities of biology. Indeed some question if women’s positions are disadvantaged compared to men because they find greater purpose in mothering.

It’s the economy according to moms, stupid.
The result of the era’s efforts can be summarized in three ways to look at a woman’s worth, economically speaking:

1) What she actually earns while in a paid career,
2) What she could have earned or opportunity cost, had she continued a career uninterrupted,
3) What someone would pay to get the same labor they get for free from a home-maker, once she leaves the paid work force.

Women’s worth tends to be unlike men’s because either her paid career is usually shown as underpaid, stuck in traditionally female professions, or lacking consistency. Authors such as Warren Farrell talk about this as if women devalue themselves by their own career choices.

Because women’s careers tend to be more of an “in and out” of the work force pattern, they accrue a large penalty in promotions and benefits they weren’t able to take advantage of because of lost seniority or prioritizing child raising over career, and the discrimination that results from the biases and stereotypes associated with these patterns. Authors like Evelyn Murphy talk about this with statistics that a woman loses $700,000 to $2 million over her working lifetime.

Finally, different organizations and authors like Ann Crittendon have tried to quantify how much a man would have to pay for a cook, nanny, housekeeper, chauffeur, and so on if he didn’t have a wife. This leads to figures anywhere from $50,000 to $800,000 annually for a woman’s worth.

Career-wise, homemaking is the largest occupation for women, beating nursing, teaching and childcare. It is at once a very dependent position and an enviable one. After all, homemaking is what working men and women aspire to when they retire. This is why the majority of women continue to do to the preparation of future workforce for companies as unpaid labor. Working people always talk about someday being as lucky as stay at home moms.

Whose side are you on?

In fact, feminists are divided against themselves. When women fight women, who is the oppressor? One side wants to quantify what a homemaker’s work is worth to prove she is not a “dependent.” The other wants to ignore most women are homemakers, getting them out of the house, working to prove women are not dependent on anyone.

The second opinion, the more popular politically, inherently devalues the first, which is experienced by the majority. The second also gives men a great excuse not to participate at home, because the only worthwhile economic activity is going on at the office.

Wrong War, Wrong Time

The truth is that the wage gap isn’t really a product of men versus women, it is a result of unencumbered women versus mothers. Wage equality isn’t exactly a gender issue, but an issue of parenting. Single, childless women have similar opportunities and paychecks to men. It is when children arrive that women put children first by de-prioritizing their earnings while men put family first by earning more.

It is the urgency of children’s needs that stops the married couple from putting off chores until later, causing even the mother who earns more than her husband to have more daily housework than him. It is having a wife at home full-time that is the most commonly shared characteristic of CEO’s in the Fortune 500, and why a Catalyst survey reflects that less than half of elite female executives have any children while the 90% of women have a child by age forty.

Since the coining of the word feminism in 1894 by the Frenchman Charles Fourier to the present, women have achieved the right to vote and yet do not elect women to office, women are the largest percentage of undergraduates and yet have not achieved critical mass in workplace leadership, women have reproductive rights and pregnancy protection at work but overwhelmingly choose to keep having kids, spoiling their own chances for wage equality under current workplace circumstances which offer no assistance after the child’s incubation is complete. Universities have moved away from women’s studies to gender studies. But until we realize that these courses are family studies and a new definition of home economics courses that even the boys should take, we will not accurately or adequately be addressing the issues in a meaningful way.

What can Boomers Do?

Retirement isn’t the end for the baby boom. Anyone can see that with the empty nest comes a tremendous amount of ability to focus on the next cause to conquer. Perhaps the best pattern for boomer women to follow is career, family, career, and contribution to the cause. There is plenty of time left to improve conditions for our grandchildren by making the office less hostile to mothers.

Let’s find the 20% that had it all. We can use their example to continue to clear stereotypes that women are either a “dependent” or dependent by understanding our gender interdependencies. Maybe it was naïve to believe that superwoman could save us. But instead of throwing her out entirely, telling all of us to stay home, we should shake it out, refine and reframe the idea that working women are beneficial rather than reject it entirely.

Stevie Awards: 2005 Best Women's Association

2005-12-29T09:55:00.000-08:00

Earning Power! was recognized this month by the Stevie Awards, the "Oscars of Online Awards".

Earning Power joined the National Association of Women in Construction, the CommomnWealth Institute and WorldWIT as a top 5 finalist, the winner being Boston's Center for Women in Enterprise.

A second recognition by the award was given to Earning Power for our fast growth. Although founded in the spring of 2005, our online community of interest has grown into the thousands. Joining Earning Power as top 5 finalists were Vertical Response, CorpComm, CitiPacific Mortgage, with Global eProcure of New Jersey being the winner.

Shining a spotlight on 34 outstanding women executives, business owners and companies, The 2005 Stevie Awards for Women Entrepreneurs winners were announced today in categories including Best Entrepreneur, Best Executive, Best New Service of the Year and Best Overall Company.

The Stevie Awards for Women Entrepreneurs, www.stevieawards.com/women, is an international awards competition recognizing the accomplishments of women executives and business owners. The awards are produced by the creators of the prestigious American Business Awards, hailed as “the business world’s own Oscars” by the New York Post (April 27, 2005).

Nicknamed the Stevie for the Greek word “crowned,” the elegant Stevie trophy was designed by R. S. Owens, the same company that makes the Oscar and the Emmy. More than 470 nominations were submitted for consideration in over 40 categories.

The Stevie Awards for Women Entrepreneurs are governed by a board of Distinguished Judges & Advisors that features many leading women entrepreneurs and luminaries in business, including Carrie Fitzmaurice, Publisher for Entrepreneur Media, Inc.; Dr. Lisa Krinsky, Chairman & President for SFBC International; and Dr. Betty Spence, President of The National Association for Female Executives.

For more information about the awards, please visit: www.stevieawards.com/women.
About The Stevie AwardsStevie Awards are conferred in three programs: The American Business Awards, The International Business Awards, and The Stevie Awards for Women Entrepreneurs. Honoring companies of all types and sizes and the people behind them, the Stevies recognize outstanding performances in the workplace worldwide. Learn more about The Stevie Awards at www.stevieawards.com.

A Wage Gap Christmas Carol

2005-12-01T10:58:00.001-08:00

Scrooge noticed that business was slow toward the end of the year. Holiday vacations, big deals already closed, and the plants shut down for two weeks meant he had a longer moment than usual to pause and consider a resolution to have a change of heart of his own.

You see, he picked up an article directed to the Fortune 500 and other business owners with female employees and learned two statistics that hadn't really settled with him before. First, that the pay gap was the number one concern of working women surveyed nationwide. Second, that by just raising women's pay 17 cents per dollar,that the nation's poverty levels could be cut in half.

He knew he could be paying women around 25% less than men, but he didn't want to think of himself as a Scrooge, or especially accused of one by his female employees. And yet he felt convicted and resolved that minute to make a change.

Scrooge learned that unlike the larger problems of discrimination and harassment that seemed so unyieldingly complicated, the wage gap was quantifiable and measurable. He liked that. And according to actions taken by the State of Minnesota, it took less than 4% of the cost of payroll to correct the gap for their female employees.

He knew his own payroll totals, and had never considered it would be such a low number of his own to do his part in correcting what seemed such a large national percentage. In fact, he didn't really know enough about it to be certain how making changes to his own payroll would change his company. But he thought, what I do matters, and it is the right thing to do.

Scrooge was able to take five easy steps to solve the problem immediately.

1) He realized the change must take place top down. He assigned a top sponsor in his organization the responsibility to solve the problem.
2) He understood that people might be confused by the proactive measure, but he stated the clear goal that the organization was only aiming to fix one thing, equal pay for equal performance to hard working women werecompensated the same as hard working men in those positions.
3) The sponsor he assigned went to www.wageproject.org and learned howto get an assessment. Quickly they audited with a free system available, and confirmed it with some consultants so they could have the correct information for the board and employees. Wow! There was a gap as Scrooge knew in his gut, but was to afraid to encounter.
4) Fear aside, the team corrected the results and payroll informed the affected women that they would get a raise. Rather than an angry reaction that they had been mistreated in the past, the women were amazed to be taken care of appropriately.
5) Finally, everyone decided that this deserved some publicity, andScooge's employees, male and female, enjoyed the upside of public congratulations in the form of additional sales.

Indeed, what an upside it was! Scrooge was a hero, and that felt good. Letters poured in from other companies, asking him how he did it. He proudly answered, "It was easy. I just evaluated, planned, deployed andcompleted it as a project with the help of a few key team members."

Scrooge's value to his peers was raised tremendously. They thought of him as the action-oriented guy to go who made things happen.

But the uspside continued in ways Scrooge hadn't considered. His company got a stronger competitive edge through increased diversity, it attractedand retained top talent longer, they got more access to resources, and decreased turnover.

In fact, what they'd been doing for years was illegal, and though they'd gotten away with it, they no longer had to hide from lawsuits and concern themselves with risk mitigation regarding equal pay.

Barriers between team members were removed and men and women in the company began to work more efficiently, with less suspicion and resentment. In short, the cooperation led to better time to market, increased profits and decreased capital outlay.

Scrooge was truly rich.

At that same time of year, little Tiny Tim sat at home ill when suddenly his mom came home with holiday presents galore. The news was that she would be earning $700,000 more over the course of her career because a man like Scrooge finally stood up for what was right. Tim had a working mother, who had seen her salary drop 2.5% for each child she had, just like U.S. Labor Bureau statistics show. Until Scrooge had measured that her productivity and reviews were outstanding, she thought maybe getting paid less was her fault somehow. Maybe she wasn't "playing the game" with the boys. She was overly self-critical and read a lot of advice books.

But now, she, Tiny Tim and his siblings could afford a down payment on ahouse that increased 30% in equity over the following year. She bought a reliable car for work and impressing clients, immediately increased her sales, and used the additional money to take care of Tim's healthcare, child care and educational needs.

With her worries aside, she radiated self-confidence and leadership at work. Having these things cared for increased Tim's mom's work-life balance and made her even more productive and loyal.

Thank you Scrooge, for looking into it. You're a good guy after all.

Happy Holidays. God Bless Us All, Every One.

Science of Change: Wage Gap Tipping Point

2005-11-28T12:05:00.000-08:00

Most people think that women’s earnings will steadily increase over time until the wage gap between men and women is closed. According to some estimates, such as predictions by the Women’s Committee of 200, it will take another 50 years to do so. After all, its taken 40 years for the gap to move from 59 cents to about 76 cents to a man’s dollar.

Others are more skeptical, as the Institute for Women’s Policy Research suggests, the wage gap has recently been slightly increasing year over year. As an example from 2003 to 2004, women’s average salaries against men have worsened.

If we were able to have men view the wage gap as a man’s issue rather than a woman’s issue, would we be able to begin paying people equally regardless of gender? What would it take to have this idea reach a “tipping point”, or critical mass?

Malcolm Gladwell’s best seller The Tipping Point suggested that social change happens more like an epidemic than a slow, steady rise. Although woman have been steadily pushing for equal workplace rights for years, perhaps what is needed is the other half of the human race to have a thought change. The idea that men matter can be a message that changes ideas and behavior like an outbreak, and leads to sudden and surprising solutions.

A meme is an idea that behaves like a virus, in order to transmit new behavior from one man to another. How would this actually work?

1) Dispel the myths. In order to get past bias fears have to be addressed upfront.
2) Reiterate the benefits. In order to have a head and heart change a personal connection must be made, rather than relying on legislation.
3) Show the way. When we have courage and understanding, we can overcome paralysis to move toward solutions together.

So what are the benefits to men who hire, promote and pay women as they would men?

Solving issues of social injustice and human rights may motivate some men. However, from a corporate standpoint men need to understand the bottom line. Solving women’s issues leads to decreased capital outlay and increased profits. How? Companies mitigate risks by lessening exposure to needless litigation. In addition, there is evidence that companies with women in key leadership roles perform better financially. Barriers to effective interactions between employees are also eliminated decreasing turnover, giving more time on task, and allowing a faster time to market.

From a personal standpoint, men who sponsor wives, daughters and female coworkers can increase their own work life balance and enjoy the benefits of flexible options at work. Dual income families have improved total economic viability, and the better prospects help overcome poverty and improve the survival of the family. This load sharing can also improve men’s mental and physical health over time.
Some men will feel they have a fuller humanity, giving their children more options than they had, getting some relief from the pressure to be the sole provider, and enjoying a more active fatherhood and commitment to interpersonal relationships with their family.

Are these benefits enough to overcome the suspicions between genders? They ought to be enough to make us curious to explore joint solutions with men in power within a non-threatening framework. The goal is a corporate culture transformation. Restoring hope in the negotiations may be what is needed to bring enough positive passion to the wage issue that it won’t still be our grandchildren’s issue 50 years from now.

Response to Newsweek Women Leaders Article

2005-11-27T18:27:00.000-08:00

Behind Every Powerful Woman…

October 24th Newsweek's cover is about HOW WOMEN LEAD: 20 of America's Most Powerful Women. Taking a closer look, we can see they lead with sponsorship from powerful men.

Governor Bush, my husband Bob, my father, my brother, Brig. Gen. Richard Richard Ursone, Lt. Col. Robert Bowles, ACCION’s president Bill Burris, Mayor Gavin Newsome, Former Xerox CEO David Kearns, Woody Herman’s arranger, Leonard Bernstein, and my friend the casting director. Here’s the new challenge for feminism at work---recognizing the men that coached your 20 Most Powerful Women to success!

The fact is that most of the women leaders today are fictional because men are still in charge of 70-99% of corporate boards, executive officer positions, college professorships, government and even news editing positions. With all of that influence, women need powerful men to help break barriers for them. Especially since we have not reached the “critical mass of women in leadership” you touted, nor have they achieved equality in pay.

The grocery cashier who sold me my copy of Newsweek answered your cover on the lessons learned when she smirked doubtfully and said, “Yeah, You can’t depend on men!” But the powerful women leaders’ answer to the cashier seems to be an entirely different experience, that men can be credited for inspiring them, sponsoring them, and even creating a flexible workplace where they can bring their two-year-old on the campaign.

A better question than “how” is “why” these women have the opportunity to lead. They prove powerful men believed in their talent, made change, and broke barriers to success. When men choose to empower women, then equality can be achieved, and women as leaders won’t be unusual enough to make the cover of Newsweek.

Yale's "Secret" Motherhood Path

2005-10-16T15:27:00.000-07:00

Louise Story of the New York Times recently published results of a Yale survey that had many women up in arms. E.J. Graff, who most recently co-authored Evelyn Murphy’s book “Getting Even” stated, “The elite media declare yet again that feminism is dead, and that most women yearn to stay at home and tend babies.”

The truth according to the census is 90% of American women do have babies before the age of 40, but it doesn’t preclude them from wanting equality with men.

Graff claimed women wereupset that the Yale study of 138 freshman and senior females revealed that 85, or 60% said they planned to cut back or quit work when they had kids. This would leave 40% of them responding with plans to work full time.

Incredibly, rather than being preposterous, this survey seems to accurately reflect the present workforce. According to Catalyst Research, about 38% of married mothers work full time. The others have cut back or live off of other sources of income.

What IS disturbing about the NYT article is the quote they used from a student saying, “My mother’s always told me you can’t be the best career woman and the best mother at the same time. You always have to choose one over the other.”

Just turn the quote around and try something no one was ever quoted as saying, “My father always told me you can’t be the best career man and the best father at the same time.” It sounds completely silly. Also, would really discourage or upset all of the great career fathers out there. No guy would get away with giving that advice to his son. What would the result be?

There is a disconnect between the idea that women and men can both be good parents and good workers, despite the fact that most parents have to work. Bringing home money is part of being a good parent.

The article doesn’t mention if the Yale women in question plan on returning to work after 4 years when the kids start school. But surveys show that even if women do leave work to give babies attention in the first years, the same intensity isn’t required in the later year’s child-raising. Most women return to combine work and kids quite well.

What women don’t choose is to be paid 2.5% less per child for the same jobs once they have children, to face speculation about their commitment to work (or their kids), to be penalized for asking for flexible hours while the kids were infants, or to be sidelined to less important positions because of bias.

The Congressional Budget Office found that women’s earnings were 98% of men’s when looking at people’s wages from ages 27 to 33 that never had a child. A National Center for Policy Awareness report says, “When women behave in the workplace as men do, the wage gap between them is small.” But having no children is NOT how men behave.

As a nation, we hold out the hope that someone will hold the raising of our children as a priority over career advancement. Historically, we’ve wanted that person to be a woman. But the truth is, when families insist the children come first, both men and women agree that they work to live, not live to work.

Pregnancy, having a child, and raising a child is a 50/50 responsibility of the mother and father. The wage gap cannot continue to be 100% blamed angrily on men, especially when human resource departments that set or monitor wages are made up predominantly of women. Nor can blame be shifted 100% to women simply because of the pre-knowledge that there is a bias against women with children that will affect their pay.

Instead, we can correct the bias through increased awareness and participation of both men and women toward eliminating the wage gap for the next generation.

See both stories at www.boston.com/news/globe/editorial_opinion/articles/2005/10/09
AND www.nytimes.com/2005/09/20/college

When Being a Man is Good for Women

2005-10-13T16:34:00.000-07:00

Men matter because they are half of the solution to workplace equality. Statistically, men are clearly still in charge in Corporate America. But what can a man do for a woman as a mentor that a female mentor can’t?

Men are in a unique place because they hold more access to power in almost all industries except for those businesses that cater specifically to women and children. Because there is a wall between men and women at work, women sometimes need a push or pull to reach their potential when the place is dominated by men.

Here’s how just one man can change a woman’s access to the top and to the even the playing field toward fair pay.

1) Give permission. Women sometimes need a guy to give her permission to participate in the conversation, the meeting, and/or the decision. She doesn’t assume that just because she was hired that the guys will value her opinion or include her in the exchange. She's been rewarded in the past for staying quiet, out of trouble or out of the way. Instead, let her know she’s there because she’s valued, and that she should speak up or be overlooked.
2) Give invitations. Women need a formal verbal or written invitation to get-togethers, hanging out, meetings and after work sessions where many key business events take place in an informal setting. They assume incorrectly that work only happens at work, in the workplace. They also assume that they’d be uninvited if they invited themselves to tag along without you asking directly.
3) Give introductions. Once she’s been invited, stop the conversation to make sure people know her name and why you think she should be there. Open your rolodex and contact list. Empower her by being complimentary about her strengths to others before it’s assumed she’s just office decoration. Let them know why you trust her enough to let her join.
4) Give opportunities. When heavy assignments come up, don’t assume she wouldn’t be interested because it involves travel, longer hours, meetings over cigars and cognac or that there are no other women involved. Let her tell you, “yes” or “no”, and at least give her an opportunity for discussion.
5) Give resources. If she accepts an assignment, she may try to do it herself. Let her know what headcount she is allowed and if she can hire temps, contractors, or full time people from other divisions or outside to get the job done right. Many men know that a guy put in charge will start building his empire immediately, but women may try to prove themselves and fail because not being given a team.
6) Give a budget. Sponsor her projects based upon return on investment. Often women will not ask for additional money to get something done right, but will bend over backward, even spending their own money on supplies or gifts to make things happen, and the company never does learn the actual cost of getting the results. Also, if others see she has a team and budget, they are less likely to question her credibility and more likely to support her success.
7) Give coaching. Instruction is vital to success. Give her the same sort of insight you’d give your buddy about what the key people on a project are looking for to call the end product outstanding. Don’t laugh or let her flounder as a right of passage if you see her heading the wrong way. Remember if she fails so does the company.

In short, men in charge can give a woman a chance to make them proud by sponsoring her through some simple visible and verbal actions. This is also a chance for men to benefit financially by having women join the men in producing results that benefit everyone financially. The bottom line is that smart men sponsor smart women and get rich because of it. And that’s how taking charge and being a man is great for working women.

Paternity Power

2005-10-07T11:52:00.000-07:00

If you haven’t heard, the percentage of men taking paternity leave has risen from 7% in the year 2000 to 16% in 2005, according to Working Mother magazine. Chances are if you are a working father, you may have missed the news. In some companies, like KPMG, as much as 80% of new fathers take time off.

This trend is exemplified in a study of Generation X dads that illustrated they spend about an hour more per day than their fathers did. It took a little digging, but a Mothering Magazine 1980 study of working fathers revealed that they spent an average of 38 seconds per day of quality time with their children. Adding up the hours over weeks, months and years, there has been a quantifiable difference in quality time with dad nowadays!

This is great news for working women. Why? Because, quality time with dad means relief for mom. Being a mother has been strongly linked with the wage gap. If men can hold their salaries and still get more time with the kids, we are on the right path toward work-life balance between the sexes.

How strong is the link? The wage gap between working mothers and working fathers is seen unexplainably widening in US Bureau of Labor statistics. However, this month a University of Michigan study revealed that housework specifically has an adverse effect on women’s wages.

Could something as mundane as housework be causing a gap in wages? In part, yes. But more specifically it is the amount and type of the work. Obviously guys are putting in hours on home maintenance, yard work, auto repair, even loading the dishwasher. Something else is going on at home that is no secret at work. Women are still the primary child raisers.

Women between the ages of 20-49 do twice the housework as men their age, but the true cause of the wage effect is “child care in conjunction with household duties.” This is because, as U-M economist Paula Malone says, “Child caretakers cannot postpone care until the weekend or convenient times.”

The Journal of Contemporary Economic Policy calculated that each hour of housework reduces women’s wages by 0.1 to 0.4 percent. A University of Toledo study shows women did 10 hours of housework weekly, so this would mean up to 4% less pay per week for working moms. According to both studies, number of housework hours does not affect wages of women over 50 (who put in more hours of housework than younger women, but not child care). Nor did housework affect wages for men of any age.

If the difference between men and women’s housework is twice as important as job tenure, market hours, or education level as indicated by these studies, then men have a key role in raising women's wages by starting at home. Men participating more in fatherhood can not only have an invaluable impact on their own quality of life and the lives of their children, but it can inadvertently raise their household income level through more effective management of the working mother’s time and therefore, family income.

Aspire to be Sexy!….(but not too sexual)

2005-09-14T11:42:00.000-07:00

A group of journalists, producers and public relations specialists were recently meeting in New York to talk about the types of guests that get the best ratings and attention from the audience. It turned into a discussion about how the media rarely covers stories about women, and if women do appear they are unrealistic, stick-thin celebrities or sex symbols. Most of the men appearing in the news, Brad Pitt and Tom cruise aside, are given the cover because of other value they add to informing us about business, society, and politics.

There’s no doubt that part of business success is appearance. There is, however, a lot of confusion about how powerful and necessary it is for women to be sexy, and yet how inappropriate it is to be sexual in any real context where men and women interact. There is a real disparity between what women consume from media as compared to how women are to actually behave in order to achieve success alongside men in power.

Does the media favor stories by men for men? The issue with media is twofold, in the subjects of stories and in those reporting the stories.

First, the media reflects society in that powerful men are still the movers and shakers attracting the most attention. A 2002 study of the major networks ABC, CBS, and NBC revealed that news stories reported on men 86% while stories on women appeared about 14% of the time. A 2003 MediaTenor Report showed similar results, with the top stories women appeared in being crime victims. Business stories about women had a 21% share, which is surprisingly high for women’s stories, and also disappointingly low in the context of the majority of reports on men.

Secondly, journalism itself suffers from the same phenomenon college success to workplace failure for women that many industries do. According to the Association for Education in Journalism and Mass Communication women have been the majority of media and journalism majors in college ever year since 1977.

Despite this, men have been a full two-thirds of journalists since 1982, with women only 20.3% of newswire, 21.8% in radio, 33%-36.9% at daily and weekly newspapers, and 37.4% in television as reported by Poynter’s 2003 Journalist Survey.

Broken down, the women in positions of real influence even within these statistics is paltry. For example, at the major networks, women were actual reporters of just 26% of the stories. In radio, women are only 14.4% of news directors. Fully 80% of news editor positions in general media are held by men.

The tragedy is that the figures for media and journalism are so much better than other industries like technology, manufacturing, or politics. It’s much more likely a male or female journalist will have female peers or supervisors, which is not the case for the majority of the workforce.

So the media does favor powerful men and women who are “hot”. It’s simply a reflection of reporting what actually exists in our society. It’s unfortunate that most guys aren’t really aware of what the issue is because things are the same as they have been. We’ve all been living with a statistically proven disparity that across all areas of highest influence from university professorships to corporate boards to news editing---although they may not feel like it to men---men are in charge. So women are still playing by the rules in attempts to achieve parity---even if it has required using all of their assets.

The Purpose Driven Wife

2005-09-14T11:31:00.000-07:00

One of the oddest things I hear repeatedly is those people who question a women’s commitment to family when she starts working. This just doesn’t happen to men. Men are expected to work.

This is where work and life balance becomes and issue for both genders. It’s as unfair to expect a man to work from dawn to dusk as it is to expect a woman to stay home the entire time. Neither model optimally benefits the family.

Are you a person that is trying to understand how to balance your mission in work and life? It seems many people these days are searching for purpose and meaning in their lives.

The reality is that the purpose for both male and female go to work is to benefit themselves and their family. The truth is that parenting is difficult and complicated work. Committed fathers are also learning from women's examples that successful work does not have to mean failure as a husband or parent. There can be a great deal of empathy between working partners.

Figures show that 38% of working mothers work full time all year, indicating that the remaining majority are finding other flexible solutions and investments to bring in income. Mothers that are not traditionally employed are still working mothers because child care itself can be exhausting. But also the value that they add to the household in opportunity costs is tremendous as they allow their spouse to pursue greater financial gains for all.

Although 90% of the general female population has a child by 40, this figure is cut in half for the top executive women of the Fortune 500. Still the fact that almost half of these top women are also raising children demonstrates that work success doesn’t have to be sacrificed for family success. In fact, in June 2005 USA Today said that working women are still coming home to thirteen hours or more of housework per week. Often times the top working women stated their need to compensate for their success at work by being hyper-feminine at home.

There has been some trending toward working women who have decided to quit working for others, start their own business, or stop work entirely and make money through investment and money management. When women these women exit corporate America and stay home to raise kids it may look like a return to the 1950’s but in the new millennium there are two key differences.

1) It is a choice. If the woman earned enough and invested wisely to buy time or flexibility she is no longer dependent.
2) It is an enhanced retirement. The woman retains the confidence and esteem of knowing her earning potential outside of home.

What a great place to be in, to have the alternatives that financial empower enables and the self confidence of having proven your abilities in the workplace.

Still, many women worldwide are taught that it is immoral to ever go to work when you have children. This is just intolerable. Some people blame religion, but this would be an incorrect perception, as there are plenty of Old Testament examples of working women, and these accounts are the basis for three of the world’s major religions, Judaism, Christianity, and Islam.

For example, we read that even that capable wife from Proverbs 31 is working outside the home in sales and real estate at the same time she is clothing and feeding the kids. She can only “afford to laugh at tomorrow” because she chose the right business to be in and the right investments that allow her to gain to gain dignity, power, and yes, money. This allows her husband to be proud and supportive, even to brag. He is certainly not ashamed or angry with her, nor is there a hint that he’s embarrassed among the top men in town because of expectation that he should be handling everything himself.

In the final analysis, no one would recommend a strategy that drives parents from their homes. But success doesn’t mean jettisoning your family. Taking the time to incorporate the needs of the spirit with financial realities reaps the richest rewards of all. Working and parenting at the same time, which is what most of us do, is the best example we could ever set for our sons and daughters.

Are Women Stalled?

2005-08-22T10:05:00.000-07:00

Justice Sandra Day O’Connor steps down from the Supreme Court, Carly Fiorina forced out of Hewlett Packard leaving no women CEO’s in the Dow Jones industrial average, the only self made female on the Forbes 25 Richest, Martha Stewart, jailed.

It hasn’t been the best of times for women in leadership recently. As the new millennium progresses, the influence women once hoped to hold seems to be suffering. The Forbes comment on the near absence of wealthy women as compared to men was, “it’s only been 20 years,” so we shouldn’t expect women to be on par with men.

It’s easy to notice when something goes wrong with women in high profile positions because there are so few of them in the first place. Increasing the candidate pool of qualified females needs to become a top priority in order to have a larger base of women as role models for the next generation of girls.

Women still dominate 8 out of the 10 lowest paying professions according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. These are café counter attendants, food prep, food serving, retail cashiers, hostess, housecleaners, garment pressers and child care workers. According to some estimates, women’s earning power has decreased as the wage gap between men and women has increased several percentage points, and the gap isn’t expected to near closing for another 20 years.

Female enrollment in business schools has plummeted 15% since 2000. The Committee of 200, a research organization for women in business, has revealed that as of last year fewer women are joining corporate boards, gaining access to venture capital, and taking top executive positions in the Fortune 500.

If women are losing ground, why should it matter to American business? A 2003 study by Catalyst reveals that companies with the highest percentage of women in top management outperform male-dominated companies, with a 35 percent higher return on equity and a 24 percent higher total return to shareholders. Gender equity in leadership appears to be a strong factor in top financial performance.

In addition, women as employees offer a great competitive advantage, because they add additional energy, expertise and perspective through increased diversity.

Women as customers spend billions annually as the fastest growing purchasers of online services, travel, automobiles, lawn mowers, new homes and more. According to the Business Women’s Network, women are 50% of stock market investors, ironically investing in companies that still don’t have a representative number of women in leadership.

As shareholders, we should have serious concern if women are indeed stalled and find some immediate solutions to get them moving again before there are larger economic consequences.

The 4 A's of Cash Flow, or How emotions motivate us all.

2005-08-02T16:09:00.000-07:00

Some people say women are emotional in business. This is true, but so are men. Our deep, hidden needs and desires motivate us all to earn more.

Building wealth buys emotional assets. I call these the Four A’s: Assurance, Attention, Authority, and Autonomy.

These are the four emotions that control cash flow.

People aren’t motivated to earn money for the sake of money. There is always an emotional state they wish to barter for or purchase with the money. These four A’s are the incentive for determination in the face of workplace adversity. The old saying goes, “We don’t live to work; we work to live.” Our emotions and passions are what make us feel alive.

Take a look and decide which of these four A’s is currently driving you to earn.

Assurance: Some people want the security, safety, confidence, or protection that money affords them. They worry constantly if they don’t have enough money to make them feel assured things will be taken care of.
Attention: Some people want love, respect, recognition, or affection that comes from having enough money. If they don’t have enough to contribute financially, their self-worth suffers, and they may feel they can’t get the attention they need.
Authority: Some people want the control, power, and, privilege that comes with money. This can be positive when it allows them to have additional choices, opportunities or generosity they couldn’t otherwise have.
Autonomy: Some people just want financial freedom. Self-reliance, independence, even license to make their own choices is their big emotional payoff. Having enough to finally be autonomous is a great financial goal.

Arguments that seem to be about money can often be resolved by addressing fears around assurance, attention, authority, or autonomy instead.

Money is just another type of energy that can be moved around for the good of yourself or others. Passionate emotions, or energies, can be also be moved around or refocused on solutions. When we realize we are all “emotional” when it comes to motivation, we can seek common ground.

Eight Ways We Flunk Boundaries 101

2005-06-23T15:38:00.000-07:00

Sure women have experienced real harassment at work, but men have also suffered unjustly because of misinterpreting the confusing signals that women can send in the workplace. There are many cases where a man is responding to messages a woman sends unintentionally or intentionally. When might you assume the intent of a man’s response isn’t really malicious or intentional sexism? It’s in these cases that a woman’s response can be firm but instructive to the guys we work with, rather than vindictive or vengeful.

The 8 F's
The most common areas where men are giving positive feedback to a woman, but women may interpret it as a negative can be called the 8 F’s of boundaries.

Flirting is fine, as long as it doesn’t persist after it’s asked to stop. For the most part we could all enjoy a little flirting. But we need to make it clear if it’s unwanted.
Flattering compliments are great unless they become annoying or uncomfortable. When the woman politely declines them, stop making them.
Fashion is okay if used to look professionally attractive, but not if it is attracting unwanted attention. A kind reminder to maintain a professional environment is all that’s needed. Don’t be a corporate clone. Instead use flair, but not as a sex object. Think “style” but not “fashion”.
False impressions happen when someone is reciprocating something that you weren’t aware you were projecting. If you are sending out messages that you didn’t intend to, there just needs to be clarification of original intent, and then adjustment of behavior.
Friendliness is not an invitation to unwanted advances. If someone is friendly it is common courtesy, not an invitation for someone to pursue them as a mate.
Flagrancy is bold or overt sexual display that is only appropriate in certain consenting adult industries. In some environments it is encouraged, in most, it should be discouraged in favor of professionalism. And PLEASE don't subject your coworkers to it.
Feelings fly in the workplace. I suggest you try to get your emotional needs met outside of the office. Coworkers are not therapists or shoulder to cry on, and shouldn’t be put upon that way. This behavior invites foolishness into a career.
Fault is blaming the victim for being attractive or enticing, or denying the accusations that you’ve been inappropriate. Because the accuser has painted you with the wrong brush, grouping you with criminal harassers or discriminators, you are surprised or offended. If someone suggests improvement in how you interact with the opposite sex at work, it is easy to get defensive. Instead you should not belittle or negate the accuser’s experience of you, but try to understand why it occurred, correct the misperception, and take steps to solve the problem.

Men and women often can’t see each other’s points of view without explanations and education.

A lot of times men’s comments to women come in the form of feedback on her appearance. Men do this because they’re just trying to help improve the effectiveness or potency of the power of a woman’s appearance. Men think they are empowering by doing this, but women become offended. All women have these things happen. A woman I know once had a boss, who in an annual evaluation told her that she needed to wear her glasses more often because it made her look older and smarter and therefore made her more credible. He gave feedback to another female coworker that she needed to wear makeup more often.
In these cases the solution is usually to use the phrase, “I don’t know if you intend to, but.” For example, “I don’t know if you intend to sound this way, but when you comment on my make-up it makes me feel like it isn’t advice that would come up in a performance review of the guys here, so you make it seem like I’m not being evaluated for my performance and contributions to the team, but rather on my attractiveness. I know you, Bill, and you couldn’t have meant that, could you?” Helping him save face while keeping the working relationship in tact solves the problem, raises the awareness, and nips feelings before resentment grows.
Most perceived harassment is annoying, not serious. Look at who is in the position of power to see the truth, and if there isn’t the intent to harm, women can really help guys improve. When both are to blame, use humor to counter annoyances but make the point clear. If a woman participates ongoing in innuendo, teasing, flirting or behavior that one-ups the boys’ offensiveness, the only “fair” outcome is to cut the losses. When both sides take responsibility we can have a fair and friendly workplace.

Earning Power Award For Men

2005-06-13T20:50:00.000-07:00

We are seeking nominees for the Earning Power Award for Men.

The award is given to top business men who empower women through efforts in sponsorship, leadership, mentoring and verifiable results such as promotions, pay, and performance. The award recognizes men that demonstrate a commitment to business practices in everyday operations, management philosophies, and response to challenges, treatment of employees and to involvement in civic concerns as related to women in business.

To submit a candidate for consideration, e-mail award@earningpower.org with the story, the contact information and three references. Business leaders may be nominated in three categories: Large (greater than 2,500 employees), Mid-sized (100-2,500 employees) and Small (fewer than 100 employees). Nominations may come from a man or woman who is a client, employee, vendor or private citizen who is impressed with the nominee’s business conduct. References must include women and information must be verifiable for consideration.

10 Types of Men that Empower Working Women

2005-06-03T14:56:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows how to recognize a chauvinist or the guy who seems really helpful just because he wants to sleep with women. But why focus on the negative?
We’ve identified at least 10 types of men who help professional women and what motivates them to do it.
Who are these men? The list of men follows the acronym EMPOWERING because that’s what they are to women.
If you are one of these guys, we applaud you! If you aren’t, consider the many benefits of changing your ways.

Economic Man-
How to spot him: A man who realizes that women hold the purse strings and he wants to sell appropriately to get their money before someone else does. With women now making the majority of online purchases, vacation, home furnishings, retail sales, consumer electronics, vehicles and even lawn mowers knowing women is smart business.
Why he’ll help: He promotes women to ensure his edge. The benefit to him is profits and margins. Sometimes women are his competitive edge.
Cautions: His biggest concern is the bottom line. When women don’t help his financial interests he isn’t interested in them.

Minority Man-
How to spot him: This may be a gay man, ethnic, religious, economic, foreigner or other guy who feels separated from the men in charge. He cares about gender issues because he understands what it is to be a minority and wants to support the cause.
Why he’ll help: The benefits to him for empowering women include more flexible options at work such as domestic partner rights, more sensitivity to diversity, increased awareness of the moral need for equality, and they value different perspectives.
Cautions: Despite similar interests these guys are still men and still have access to kinship benefits that women don’t.

Project Men-
How to spot him: This is a man who knows his limitations and understands that a woman will be better for the job. He strives for success of project and initiatives by delegating areas he’s unqualified to do himself with the best person.
Why he’ll help: The benefit to him is the work gets done well and he takes credit for finding the smart women talent.
Cautions: He will very often attempt to hire women at a reduced rate for overall project cost projections return on investment and total cost of ownership.

One Guy There-
How to spot him: He is easiest to find as the token male among women, a man who is alone when there are few or no other men in the industry.
Why he’ll help: The benefit for men to get involved in an all women’s organization is that he becomes a unique commodity among women, forcing them to broaden and diversify their approach which empowers everyone as a consequence.
Cautions: He is the first to file a reverse discrimination suit and name you as a perpetrator.

Woman Lover-
How to spot him: This is a man who just loves to work with women. I’m not referring to sexual enjoyment. Instead this guy sincerely enjoys women’s special traits, characteristics or leadership styles.
Why he’ll help: The benefit to him is that it’s pleasant for him to go to work everyday. He really prefers being with business women.
Cautions: With all of those women around, there are bound to be attractions, distractions and jealousies. You also have to make sure he appreciates women for more than just office decoration.

Extra-Father Guy-
How to spot him: He’s man who has his own wife and daughter, but your second dad in the workplace.
Why he’ll help: The benefit to him in empowering women is to create a better environment for the women in his life by setting an example for the present behavior and future workplace. This guy wants the best for his own women, so he protects and mentors you.
Caution: He may do more for you than your own dad did, and if he retires, changes positions, or is sidelined himself because of age discrimination you’re on your own.

Raised by Feminist-
How to spot him: The child of a feminist is a man who is oversensitive to women’s causes. He censors his maleness to bring a more pleasant environment for women, and backs them because he was raised to think it was the right thing to do.
Why he’ll help: The benefits to him are a clear conscience and positive self esteem.
Cautions: He may be upset at his mom for not being more traditional and take it out on you.

Insurance Guy-
How to spot him: This man is really into corporate or personal risk management. Usually the guy himself is bad with women, or the company he works at is bad to women in general. So they hire a woman or promote her to say “I’m not such a bad guy.” Or “How can I be harassing women when I’m the one who promoted her.” He may promote or give pay raises to whole groups of women to avoid litigation.
Why he’ll help: The benefit to him is protection for the company or himself by staying out of lawsuits or other accusations that could derail his career.
Cautions: When he points to you to defend him because you were the only one he actually ever helped, you may feel a tremendous conflict of interest with the office sisterhood.

Now-Single Dad-
How to spot him: You see him raising his children on his own for many reasons, but increasingly because of divorce custody. This is tied to the larger trend of singling in America.
Why he’ll help: Promoting women allows him to be more comfortable as a dad. Advantages to him include getting the same family leave, flex schedule and childcare benefits as women.
Cautions: This guy may retaliate at all women eventually because of his ex.

Great-at-Home Man-
How to spot him: This is a man who really applies himself to child raising and home making, thereby empowering women to become breadwinner or a co-earner along with him.
Why he’ll help: There are numerous benefits to him. His efforts allow him to know his children and allow the couple to each do what they are best at. The household is able to increase overall income and enjoy the economic prosperity.
Cautions: Working women often don’t respect moms-at-home unless they become one themselves. It follows that the guy who helps at home may get a lot of undeserved criticism from other men as well as women who don’t give him the allowances and respect for making the right choice.

Is the Wage Gap Women's Choice?

2005-05-27T20:11:00.000-07:00

We hear about the wage gap and the most recent studies in which women only make seventy five cents to each dollar a man earns. Even more shocking is to learn that in 2002 it was seventy seven cents! Are things really getting worse?

It’s been argued lately that if anyone could be paid 25% less for the same job, wouldn’t companies in a capitalist economy hire all women?

On this premise, the wage gap is being called a hoax. If it is a hoax, it’s a waste of time to put in place programs that help women. Some suggest women get a Bachelor's degree to earn up to 75% more than women with just a high-school diploma. Others have said that women are victims of their own poor choices, and if they would choose better careers, they would close the wage gap. Some authors have even suggested that women have an unfair advantage because they get hired into all of the low paying jobs leaving no room for men!

Two Different Subjects: Wage Gap and Career Choice

The first issue is an issue of wage gap discrimination for total annual pay for work done in similar positions. The second is earning less pay overall because men choose higher paying careers. Lately people seem to be confusing the two issues by saying that women choose to be paid less by picking low paying careers. No woman I know would choose to be paid less for the same work.

Wage Gap Issue

Wage gap statistics track career choices, and how much is made in each position. The figures are not incorrect. Women are paid less for exactly the same positions. This is even compensating for seniority and flex time. Saying that the average full time male works more than the average full time female cannot be substantiated. Even if it could be, more time at work has nothing to do with an employee's performance, effectiveness or contribution of deliverables.

Career Choice Issue

However, it’s possible you can blame women for choosing careers that pay less overall. For example, nursing (health care) and elementary teacher positions (education) pay less than x-ray technician and professorship positions. The first two categories are over 90% women while the second positions are over 90% men. All of these positions are hard work and still offer flexibility. The positions dominated by men pay more.

The interesting fact is that even in these two traditionally female positions, nurse and elementary teacher, the few men who choose them earn more. The US Census Bureau shows that women only earn about 82% of what men earned in these same positions, even with diplomas and certifications.

Women Actually Paid More?

An assertion that keeps coming up is that there are many careers where women are paid more, and this is unfair to men. One of the examples given is technical sales, another is modeling. Well, technical sales are paid by performance, so that isn’t surprising. Even with lower base pay women can often bridge the gap with commissions. As for modeling, not to put out male models, but they don’t attract the same volume of attention and sales as females do, so the females are compensated for bringing in higher sales.

Another rumor is that part time women earn more per hour than full time men. This may be the case, but is anyone taking a look at the cost of perks and benefits that full time employees get that part-timers and contract hires miss out on entirely?

The Truth About Equality

It would be really easy to fuel the women who contine to accuse men of sexism, or to fuel backlash of the men who are tired of being blamed. The truth is they have both been wrong.

A closer look at the statistics reveals that the wage gap occurs when women have children. Single, childless men and women earn about the same amount in any career choice. What the census shows is that there is a correlation to pay increase for men and decrease for women each child that they have.

We know today that women are different than men. Feminism may have provided choices about birth control, but it never provided answers for the biology that only women can have children.

First, men in our society have become so alienated and defensive that they never picked up their share of child and elder care. And second, even though women are increasingly the primary household earners, the misperception of the man as breadwinner still persists. Men are compensated by increased salaries and women earn less. Thus the gap.

The wage gap is a parenting issue. It is only when we look closer at alternatives around the needs of the business in the context of the needs of our families that we can close the gap and solve the problem. Women and men should stop blaming each other and begin to work toward joint solutions for the sake of our children.

A New Model for Cooperative Genders at Work

2005-05-25T18:56:00.000-07:00

Cosexuality (adj.) Cooperative sexuality. Describes a state of equality of men and women where both genders work together toward empowering each other. It describes a new feminism with the full participation of men.

The idea is that traditional feminism became antiquated and unattractive when people began associating it with hatred of men, superiority of women, or exclusively lesbianism.

The original idea of feminism was solid: belief in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes. Sadly, nowadays even mentioning the word "feminist" alienates at least half of the population. In fact, many women, especially young women, do not wish to associate themselves with a cult of hatred. Late twentieth century man-bashing is definitely inappropriate when we work together today.

In the modern global business environment, there needs to be a new model. Enthusiasm for support would not be exclusively from women. It would also attract the interest of men and young people who are still interested in concepts like giving people equal opportunity to pursue their dreams, equality of pay for performance, or access to the same level of top leadership positions in charge of profit and loss.

Cosexuality is the new way both genders can work together and share masculine and feminine traits as needed and appropriate in order to be most effective and competitive without being intimidated. Women in business do not feel the need to imitate men or play by their rules in order to succeed.

The ideal environment is one where neither gender belittles nor mimics the other, but instead work together with respect and diverse skills. The feeling in the environment is "fun" rather than "fear".

Traditional feminism was about a power shift. Empowered people can abuse power, and this has been a possibility since women have in fact accomplished the goal of liberation. Cosexualism recognizes that although there is supposed to be a sisterhood among women to support each other toward our goals, it is often an ideal that is not met.

Instead, the cosexual reality is that men are essential as mentors, advisors and enthusiasts in women's careers. Where feminism pushed for the independence of a woman, cosexuality suggests that interdependence between genders is the key to accomplishment and profit. When one gender is excluded, both sides lose.

Finally, cosexuality allows modern fathers who are also interested in work-family issues to participate in finding flexible solutions that allow them to be a dad as well as a financial contributor to their kids. Issues that may have been considered the domain of women in the past are now their issues as well. It's an injustice to both sides to not encourage these men to raise their voice as role models for the next generation.

Earning Power! is optimistic that the majority of men are behind these concepts.

2005-05-04T12:23:00.000-07:00

Six Reasons Why Men Don't Hire Women
and what you can do about it

I had barely started my cup of cocoa when I overheard the men next to me.

"I just don't hire women anymore other than as assistants," one said, "because I don't want the headaches."

In 1973, newspaper help wanted ads were routinely divided by sex, with clerical and service jobs for women, and high-paying industrial and management jobs in the MEN column. How can it be that in 2005 a woman can still not be hired based on her gender rather than her performance?

Here are some six myths that stop men from hiring women.

Myth One: I'll have to take care of them.

Companies are looking for people who can take care of business by adding to the profits or cutting the costs. They do not want their employees to cost them. The fact is that even women with little work experience are more used to taking care of others than being taken care of. In order to run operations of their household, they must have exposure to time, money, risk, legal and property management, emergency, health, education maintenance, and special occasion, vacation, and quality of life planning. About half of all women work outside of the home, and in 22% of working couples, the woman earns more than than man, making her the breadwinner who is taking care of everyone financially as well.

Myth Two: I'll have to watch what I say and do.

Tolerance is a two way street. As much as men feel they cannot be themselves at work anymore, women have felt they needed to act like men in order to be accepted. The environment becomes sterile, civilized, and politically correct to the point that there is no enjoyment. Work environments are often competitive, and inadvertently, someone is bound to become offended, even if the offense isn't intentional. Many women can banter as offensively as men. Most issues can be avoided up front by setting expectations with employees up front. Not allowing inappropriate language to become the norm inside the office is important so that the habit doesn't slip outside the office and reflect badly upon the organization. Maybe your company should take a look at how women have been rewarded for working with you. If employees are being treated fairly in respect to pay, benefits, and other forms of compensation and recognition for performance, they will like working for you and it will be difficult for them to reasonably argue they're being harmed, or that they'll desire to harm you.

Myth Three: She won't put in the time on task.

Companies want maximum productivity from their employees. This myth arises from the idea that women don't prioritize business first or that women are more distracted with personal issues. Here the competant woman is fighting the man's image of a scattered and uncommited, young, single girl or a married woman, possibly with kids who come first. Statistically, young single women are performing on par with young, single men and they are earning about the same amount. By age 40, 90% of women have at least one child. The majority, about 64%, of top executive women have kids and they still perform. About 38% of married moms also work full time. Being married or having kids apparently motivates these working women to get work and keep working or they would stay home. The only real statistical correlation is that for each child a man has he earns more, while for each child a woman has, her pay level decreases. Also, about 22% of working women are over age 55 and could put in the time on task you are looking for if you hired them.

Myth Four: It's easier to find the right man for the job.

Companies want people with the right work history and results. It's true, there is often a larger pool of experienced men to draw from because more men than women are in the funnel in the first place. With the exception of businesses by women, for women, most industries are dominated by men. Still, who you are attracting to fill positions may have more to do with how you recruit your employees than who is available to do the work. Everyone knows that most hiring is done through personal contacts. Most old boys networks don't have a lot of women in them, so they aren't recommending women they know. The key is to tap into organizations that draw professional women to them so that you have pick of the experienced female candidates who have a proven track record. Once contacts are established it's easy to find qualified women, too.

Myth Five: Women will take things personally and attack me personally.

Companies want to keep employees focused on economic goals. Management doesn't want to be accused of being mean, unfair or unkind if things aren't exactly the way employees would like them to be. The truth is, it is very difficult to make balanced decisions all of the time. Men can be just as verbally ferocious as women and possibly even more threatening when a policy is ineffective. Managers have to get good at building setting correct expectations, benchmarking performance, and gap analysis of individual skills in order to effectively draw out the best qualities in any employee. Take a look at how well you do this first, and if the problem then clearly rests with the individual decide how to help them improve or get rid of them. If you're worried about women hurting you, remember, it's just business, so don't take it personally.

Myth Six: Women care more about being happy than making money.

Companies want sales people who will chase the close, and to do that the salesperson has to be motivated by money. Here the myth is that women don't want or need the money, but that perception is incorrect. They just often don't just want it in a visibly greedy or self-focused way. Acting in self-interest is a great economic theory that doesn't apply to the generosity required in a family. Women, especially women raising children or doing elder care, don't directly claim the products of their own labor. The incentive to gain wealth and power isn't self motivated because she'll never gain all the benefits for the costs invested or sacrificed. When applied to work, the problem lies with the man who frames everything in economic terms rather than the profitability added from value added services such as customer satisfaction, repeat business, less turnover from people satisfaction, all of which make money and cut costs, but are more difficult to measure. Bottom line results can come effectively from women or men depending upon the managements ability to learn to tap into individual motivations and loyalties.

How do myths like this perpetuate themselves? They are kept alive by what scientists call belief perseverance. Basically, people just can't stand to be wrong.

By wanting to be right about not hiring women, these men will rationalize it, selectively support it by choosing to relate only those experiences that validate it, and give extra weight to information that conforms until the prophecy is self-fulfilled. By seeking others and clinging to other co-workers with negative associations and spoken generalities, these men continue their own illusion that they can predict the behavior of all women in business, rather than seeking out and filling the funnel with good candidates that can effectively deliver results for their business.

Bias is something we are all guilty of. It is not a bias to make assumptions based on real evidence. Unfortunately, when the men at the coffee shop said they wouldn't consider women, it's more likely that they are simply afraid because they don't have enough real information, so they feel safer sticking to the familiar kinship they have gotten from male colleagues and remain inflexible to the benefits of hiring women.

When we hold a bias, we act on our attitudes out of fear, and in trying to protect ourselves miss out on wonderful opportunities that in business can result in superior economic rewards. The firmer we are in our own sense of identity, the greater we understand the worth of diverse energies, skills and perspectives.

Most men that say things that might offend women have a passive or innocent bias founded on a naive premise or a handful of unfortunate experiences with a particular individual. Men who have positive experiences working with women are no longer threatened by their values, ideas, and fresh ways of doing things. The only way that men can see successful women is to hire more women, promote, and support their career goals so that they are exposed to positive examples that in turn, open the door for others.

It is up to individual women to encourage the men to educate themselves in a caring and non-dismissive manner. That's why the guy's next round of coffee was on me that day.

Men Empowering Women

2005-04-05T13:39:00.000-07:00

Are you a man who believes in women's empowerment in the workplace? If you are you are part of a new trend. Equality has not been achieved as seen by the wage gap and the absence of women at the top of all businesses with the exception of businesses for-women-to-women. Sisterhood at work is a myth. Business, especially global business, is still a man's world. Traditional feminism alienates men and is antiquated. We need to move toward a new cosexuality in the workplace that allows women to not imitate men, and allows men to not be intimidated by women or the fear that their presence will bring on a lawsuit rather than a playful and productive interaction. Where's the fun in working together when no one succeeds if one gender wins?

This is a short opinion, but I'm looking for a few good men and their stories about why they empower, promote, and put women in charge of P&L.

Rachel